


Prince of Grief

by Laurasauras



Series: Prince of Grief [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Alternate Universe - Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Ashen Romance | Auspistice, BAMF Karkat, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Dirk is not happy, Jake died off-screen, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Past Jake English/Dirk Strider, Quadrant Confusion, sburb powers as psionics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-23 13:02:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 34,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14333013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurasauras/pseuds/Laurasauras
Summary: When Prince Jake died, the first person who suggested Prince Dirk remarry was left on display for two months until the King forced Dirk to return the body to his family. But it's been a year now, so surely Dirk won't actuallyhurtthe troll who he's being forced to marry.After all, the peace is fragile and both sides need to learn to see each other as people, not aliens. As allies. What better way than a marriage? What better ambassador than Karkat Vantas, war hero turned romance author?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What what, I have Tumblr. Give me story prompts, I got way too many WIP and want to have more. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/megalaurasaurasrex

The first time you meet your human fiance is only a week after the decision has been made. Kanaya tailored your clothes and Gamzee brushed your hair until you stopped nervous-shouting at people and all in all you feel ready to put forward a somewhat good impression. While you wait, you find yourself looking for exits, imagining how the platters over there could be made into weapons or how much force it would take to smash the glass in the windows to make a shitty blade. Of course, you have a ceremonial pair of sickles hanging at your hip and most of the people in the room have similar fancy weapons according to their preferences, but your imagination strays to the odd ways of murder, a left over impulse from your fighting days that you’re okay with. You might write romances, but there’s always a bit of violence in them and this kind of thinking actually helps.

The doors at the other end of the room burst open and a tall, thin human strides forward, a small human shadowing him a step behind. A really small human. That’s a child. Weird. Children give you the heebies. You keep your face as bland as possible and look at your fiance properly. Because that’s definitely Prince Dirk. A courtier introduces the two of you and you pay zero attention to the titles you’ve heard a million times before. He stands military straight as he looks at you. 

‘How was the trip?’ you ask. You feel awkward breaking the silence, but someone needs to say something. 

The prince looks at you for a long moment without speaking. You’re about to ask if he heard you when he turns and walks out the door he came through. A couple of the men who entered with him follow, but the rest of the company stays, including the kid. 

‘It was pretty boring,’ the kid says. ‘No, don’t bother introducing me, I’m way too small to have a name or anything yet, right? I hear we don’t earn those til our thirteenth birthday, right, we just wander around being mild inconveniences up until that point.’

The courtier coughs awkwardly and bows.

‘My apologies. Sir Vantas, this is David Strider, firstborn of the prince and third in line for the throne.’

‘It’s Dave, why does everyone assume that’s just a nickname? Do I have to call you Sir or Vantas, or am I allowed to call you Karkat?’

‘Karkat’s fine,’ you say. You have no idea how old this kid is, but he only just comes up to the bottom of your ribs. ‘Do you come along with your dad to many things?’ 

Look at you, being polite. Your voice is a normal volume and you didn’t even swear. You feel like you should get double points for not swearing in a formal setting and not swearing in front of a child. Your stupid mouth seems to misbehave more when there are multiple reasons to keep it shut.

‘Yeah, that’s me, I’m the kid he keeps around. Hey, Deuce, you found a good chill point? Bro’s not coming back anytime soon, might as well get our comfort on.’

A stout man steps forward from the shadows.

‘There are couches and snacks in the next room!’

‘Oh, sure, we can go through,’ you say. ‘Do you know where your dad went?’

‘Probably to glare at important people so they know he’s not happy. He’s got the best glare. No offense, Slick.’

‘None taken, sir,’ another man says before leading the way to the next room. These are the prince’s personal guards, you have no idea how they know where they’re going. You don’t know whether the palace staff are going to be offended by them taking control. Not your problem. 

In the next room, Dave waits until you sit at the couches to join you and eats like a little bird. Raised royal. You don’t quite know why he speaks so informally if he has all this stuff drilled into him.

‘So, you’re gonna marry Bro. Dad. Prince guy,’ Dave says. 

‘Yes,’ you say. You don’t know what else to say.

‘You have any kids? Am I gonna get some sweet new sibs out of this?’

‘No, sorry. Trolls don’t … work that way.’

‘Eh, they’d probably be sent off anyway.’

You frown at him.

‘Sent off?’

‘Yeah, I got a brother and two sisters, but Bro keeps us all separate. You know, “in case”.’ He makes enclosure talons with the hand that isn’t holding the little plate of food. 

You know this. You know that the death of the other prince made your fiance a bit paranoid and he doesn’t like to keep the line of succession all in one place anymore. You know he handles the security himself, that he has insulted people because he doesn’t trust easy.

‘You keep saying Bro,’ you say.

Dave stares at you. Aren’t kids supposed to be cheerful and loud and annoying?

‘Yep.’

You roll your eyes before you can stop yourself. He actually smiles a bit there. 

‘Have two dads, one’s Dad, one’s Bro. Just what I call him.’

You nod, that makes sense. Your heart breaks a little bit because he’s still using present tense. It’s been over a year. The empress has been trying to organise this engagement practically since the funeral. Probably before then, actually, but you don’t like to think of it like that.

There’s awkward silence. You don’t know how to talk to humans in general, let alone kids who you can’t have anything in common with. Like, what, are you going to talk weapons? Romance? Writing? Troll court gossip? You wish you could think of something because humans like their kids a lot and if you could get Dave on your side it would just be such a triumph in diplomacy.

You sit quietly for a bit until you’re saved by Sollux coming in. He waves away the courtier’s announcement.

‘KK, your stupid human fiance’s driving Fef up the fuckin’ wall. Who’s this bastard?’

You don’t even get the chance to warn Sollux to not be a complete dickhead before the scary guard Dave called Slick is at his side, stabbing him in the gut.

‘Motherfuck,’ Sollux says, holding the wound. ‘Going to get blood on the fucking carpet, KK, can you do something?’

‘Slick, back off,’ Dave says. ‘I’m sorry about that, I swear he thinks that’s how people say hello,’ he mutters.

You sigh and walk over look at Sollux’s side. It’s not a bad cut, nothing serious is hurt. You thought humans were less stab-happy than trolls. Maybe you’ll fit in better than you thought. You take a bandage out of your sylladex and ignore Sollux’s protests as you apply it. 

‘Sollux, this is Dave, he’s Prince Dirk’s son.’ You lower your voice. ‘Can you not be an asshole for one fucking second? All those talks about diplomacy and everyone thought I was going to be the problem but no, I was right and always am, you pack of shit-eating, bulge-guzzling nook stains are not fit to leave your fucking respiteblocks, let alone let out in public.’

You finish sticking the bandage over the cut and look at your hands, covered in mustard yellow blood.

‘Can one of you get a fucking towel or something?’ you ask, looking at the frankly preposterous number of servants in the room, none of them doing anything useful. ‘Please?’ you add, remembering that you’re still supposed to be on good behaviour.

‘Stop fussing, KK,’ Sollux grumbles. ‘We gotta go deal with this human shit.’

You look back to the couch where Dave is still sitting, staring off into space like he’s not listening to literally the only thing that’s happening in the room. You try and remember what you were like at that age. Not that you’ve figured out what age he is, yet. You used to like to feel useful, you remember that much. 

‘Dave will you help me talk to your Bro?’ You’ll ask him for advice and you’ll take it, even if it doesn’t pan out. Prioritise the kid who was willing to stay in the room with you, plenty of time to work on his dad. And you will use the right word for him, won’t remind him of his dead dad any more than you have to. You can do this. 

‘Uh, okay,’ he says doubtfully.

You wipe your hands on Sollux’s shirt and lead him and Sollux towards the empress’s receiving room. 

‘So, your Bro isn’t keen on marrying me,’ you say.

‘It’s not you,’ Dave says, as if he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. ‘He just … lucked out, got to marry for love the first time. But he’ll do it, he knows it’s the right thing to do.’

‘It’d be easier if we could be … friendly.’

‘You and me or you and him?’ Dave asks.

‘Both.’

‘How old are you, kid?’ Sollux asks and you barely resist the urge to facepalm. You just look to the ceiling instead.

‘86,’ Dave says. 

‘In what unit of measurement?’ Sollux says, sounding baffled.

‘I think that might be some of the famed human sarcasm,’ you say. ‘Can we focus on actually important things?’

You come to a stop outside the receiving room. The two other guards are waiting outside, your two move to make a full set.

‘Any tips you can give me here?’ you ask Dave, giving him your most attentive, least patronising look. 

‘Don’t let your guard down for a second,’ Dave says.

Ominous and not actually helpful. You were hoping he would say something like, “offer him chocolate cake” or something benign that you could use as a distraction. You nod seriously anyway and open the doors.

The empress has the prince up against the wall, a tine of the trident on each side of his neck. A sword lies on the ground next to them and they both have tears in the clothes and red and pink blood dots the room. 

‘ _ Dude _ ,’ Dave says. You’re not sure if he means his bro or the empress. Either way, it breaks the tension.

The empress pulls her trident out of the wall and steps away. She gives Dave a curtsy.

‘Dirk, if you’re not going to try to unfishstand me then there’s nothing we can do!’ she says. The prince rubs at his throat and slides his sword back into its scabbard on his hip. 

‘I unfishstand perfectly, Empress,’ he says. ‘And I think it’s awfully codvenient that I happen to be minnowed at a time when Karkat Vantas is at the height of his fame. I have four heirs and a troll’s not gonna help me produce anymore, so it’s all a fucking farce anyway.’

‘Minnowed?’ Sollux asks.

‘Widowed,’ they both say in exasperated unison.

‘Coddamn catchy fishpuns,’ the prince says. ‘I have no problem with you or your empire. Settle for informal friendships.’

‘Yeah, we’ll see how seaworthy those friendships are when we’re at war again in six months! We have to act  _ now _ ! It’s been over a  _ year _ !’

‘You threatening me, Empress?’ the prince says, hand on his sword again.

‘No!’

‘Okay, shut the fuck up, both of you,’ you say. You stride over to them and snatch the trident from the empress and the sword from the prince. They both look at you murderously. ‘We’re not going to go to war again anytime soon, Feferi, you know that. We don’t need to get married tomorrow, stop cornering the bastard. And Dirk, don’t pretend like this can get solved without us all making big statements, peacetime is a far way from secure. We can glub about the details some other time, the humans literally just got here and we  _ don’t fucking need to be this fucking dramatic _ .’

You hand them their weapons back. 

‘Now go get yourselves changed and bandaged because you both know we have an important dinner tonight and you are the biggest pair of idiots I’ve ever had the misfortune to stand close to for getting yourselves battered right before it.’

You look meaningfully at Sollux and he takes Feferi away. Some matesprit he is. It’s fine, you’ll flip ashen or pale or fucking chartreuse if it means holding this piece of shit alliance together.

Dirk goes to leave too.

‘Hold up, bulgemunch,’ you say.

‘I thought I was under orders to get changed and bandaged,’ he says, and he looks like he’d happily slice you from nose to navel if he thought he had the chance.

‘Yeah, well, hold off on that for two fucking seconds, would you?’

He crosses his arms and stares at you, and you haven’t seen hatred and defiance like that in a long time. It’s enough to tempt you to flip pitch, but you’ve got a fucking brain in your head and you know that’s not how to go about this with a human. Especially not when the whole goal of this is to have a public relationship to set an example of peace and friendship between the two species. Sure, your readers would eat it up with a fucking spoon, but that is not the fucking issue here.

‘Listen, you and the empress can have your little spar, get the tension out of the way, that’s fine, I don’t even have a problem with your boy’s guard stabbing the royal heart over a flippant statement, but the  _ whole point _ of you coming here is to set an example of harmony. Shit, human, how can we put tavern brawlers in the slammer when we’re doing the same fucking thing up at the palace?’

‘Well he must be serious, he called it the slammer,’ Dave says. He’s staring at you with an unreadable expression. You spend slightly too long trying to interpret it and then there’s a blade against your throat.

Right. Don’t let your guard down.

You look at Dirk and keep your expression utterly bored. What’s he going to do? Start a war over a few insults? You don’t bother pointing it out, just stand still, don’t give him a reason. If he’s clever he’ll give you a little warning scratch, not just chop your head off. If he actually kills you, you’re going to have so much to say about it.

‘So I was thinking I’ll wear the red suit tonight,’ Dave says. 

‘We’ll match,’ you say dryly.

‘Sweet! Can we sit next to each other, too? Or will that mess with the seating plan?’

‘Kid,’ Dirk says, his voice a warning grumble.

‘What? Am I not supposed to make friends with my new … father? Pops? Lusus?’

You smirk at the prince, enjoying the way he clenches his teeth in frustration. You notice Dave didn’t suggest “dad”. 

Dirk sheaths his blade again, runs his fingers through his hair and takes a few steps back.

‘I’m  _ not _ happy about this,’ he says, entirely unnecessarily.

‘You’re a prince,’ you say. ‘ _ Pretend _ .’

He sighs and leaves the room. Dave follows, giving you a finger gun on the way out. On balance, you think your first meeting could have gone worse.


	2. Chapter 2

An urgent human matter called the whole human party away before they could even get to dinner. The troll court made the decision to accept what was almost certainly a lie. Sometimes diplomacy meant letting everyone take a breather.

A week later, another party of humans showed up. With the king being so monstrously old, Dirk really did take on a lot of the responsibilities in running the kingdom, and apparently it wasn’t a good time for him to step away from the capital. It obviously had nothing to do with how pissed off he was about his arranged marriage. Before Feferi could suggest that the trolls go to him, he sent his cousin.

Princess Roxy _looks_ a lot like Dirk, but her attitude is leagues away from the cold, unhappy prince. She gets along with everyone. She brought with her one of Dirk’s other children, Rose, who is the most well-behaved child you have ever encountered. She has perfect manners, only speaks when spoken to and is impossible to get a genuine reaction from.

Halfway through the visit, you ask Feferi to seat the two of you next to each other. You are going to win your future husband’s heart through his kids if it kills you.

For the first half of the meal, Rose answers most of your attempts at conversation with pretty smiles.

Your questions—what her favourite games are ( _enigmatic smile_ ), does she like school ( _polite smile_ ), how is she liking the troll empire so far ( _vaguely interested smile_ )—make you wonder if she even understands your English, which you thought was pretty good.

‘I got to meet your brother,’ you say.

‘Dave?’ she asks.

You smile at her instead of answering because you’re a petty bastard.

‘How did you find him?’ she asks.

‘I liked him. Clever and funny.’

‘He is very clever,’ she says. ‘People don’t get that about him.’

‘Do you miss him?’

Her gaze flickers to Roxy for a moment.

‘A bit. We write letters almost constantly though. Hard to miss him when I get two of these a week.’

She pulls out a scroll of parchment from her sleeve. It’s a foot and a half long and covered in a mixture of childish drawings and strangely neat handwriting.

‘How does he have so much to talk about?’ you ask. You don’t try and read it, you remember how protective you used to be of your letters between you and your friends.

‘It’s a mystery,’ Rose says. ‘He can talk about anything.’

‘Would it be strange if I wrote to him?’

‘You have to write to me as well. I can’t have him having more friends than me.’

‘Of course,’ you say with a slight bow of your head.

‘I can ask Bro if you’re allowed to know John and Jade’s addresses, too.’

You’re interrupted from your weird gooey feeling by Feferi standing to make a speech. You’re surprised to see that Rose seems to be actively listening, not just tuning it out like you usually do.

After that dinner, Rose follows you around like a little shadow. She’s constantly writing, whether she’s taking notes for herself or sending her observations to her siblings you aren’t sure. She receives letters from them like clockwork. Dave sends one every three days, meaning that they each have to reply to the letter on the same day they receive it to keep up such frequent conversation. John’s come around once a week, even though he’s closer to the palace. Jade’s come roughly every five days, but sometimes she sends them two days in a row, having forgotten something important in the first letter.

Rose shows you comparisons of their handwriting and insists that the angle they write on and the roundness of the letters has some deeper meaning. She reads you portions from the letters that concern you.

karkat sounds really nice!!!!!! he will make a wonderful new friend!!!!! but you should really stop trying to psychoanalyse him rose people dont like that very much!

(‘I don’t know why she has that impression, Karkat, I assure you I said nothing flattering, don’t let it go to your head.’)

i am sending you a book of troll related pranks. i dont know if you know this but they are strangely sensitive about cleaning products so you have to be careful not to push it too far! i think the best way to make friends with someone is by bonding through a series of escalating pranks! or watching fantastic movies. do trolls have movies?

(‘We will tell him when he’s older, shall we?’ ‘No! How do you know?’ ‘I’ll tell you when you’re older, too.’)

rose we have a really important mission here and that mission is to find an appropriate monniker for our new almost-daddy. provided of course that bro stops flipping his shit like hes being paid minimum wage to provide undercooked shit patties. 

heres the list of contenders so far: daddy-o, crabdad, popsicle, shouty mcnubs, nubs, trolldad, papa, doc, pop, papa new geania < holy shit, how do you spell that word, fuck that place and also the tiny pig monsters that presumably hail from there, poptart, karkles, dadkat, i cant believe its not father. i will be sending this list to the dorks as well so they can think about it.

(‘I personally like Poptart, on account of how sweet you are.’)

The visit ends far too fast. You’re sitting in the loungeblock after their leaving feast, listening to Rose tell you why she thinks the two servants who are covertly talking to one another in the corner are actually lovers.

‘And, you see the way her feet are pointed towards him? Feet are extremely important, Karkat, people point to the person they’re most interested in with their feet _all the time_.’

Roxy floats over to you and you smile involuntarily. She just has that effect on most people. Rose, in contrast, stops talking immediately and her face takes on that china doll look, the one that creeped you out so much before you got her talking to you properly.

‘Hi Karkat! Hi Rosie! What’s going on in this corner of the room?’ she says. She sits next to you and the way she tucks her ankles neatly together reminds you of Rose.

‘Not much, Princess,’ you say. ‘You seem to be getting along nicely with the empress.’

‘Oh my god, Feferi is just the best. She’s seen stuff, you know, she knows what she’s talking about.’ The way she talks makes you feel like you’re sharing confidences and you lean in automatically.

‘You and Rosie are getting on like a house on fire, aren’t you?’ she says.

‘I want to stay with Karkat,’ Rose says, effectively interrupting the conversation.

‘What?’ you ask her.

‘I want to stay with you when the rest of the humans leave,’ she says, speaking slowly, as if she’s the adult and you’re the child.

‘Rosie …’ Roxy says. ‘Mr Vantas is a busy guy, we can’t impose on him like that.’

‘Why not? I’m good, I never get in trouble like John, I want to write and he writes, I could learn a lot from him.’

‘Your dad might not be cool with this, honey,’ Roxy says, gently.

‘My _bro_ was “cool” with giving me to you, I don’t see how this is any different. You're not going to be my step-dad. And the socio-political benefits would be significant. If the troll kingdom had a human guest, there would be no need to rush the wedding, like he’s _so_ worried about.’

‘Rose,’ you say. ‘This can’t be a spur of the moment decision. You know I’d love to have you, it’s going to break my heart to see you go, but it’s _big_.’

Rose just stares at Roxy.

‘I’ll call Dirk,’ she says with a sigh.

‘Can I talk to Bro too? And Karkat?’

At this, Roxy glares at Rose for a second before remembering herself. Ah, so she wanted to talk to Dirk in private. Rose is possibly more savvy and sneaky at twelve than you are now, and you used to be an assassin.

‘Fine,’ she says. ‘After the evening winds up, I’ll call him and we can all talk to him. I’ll go let the empress know we’ll be making a call.’

Roxy walks back to Feferi, her posture tense.

‘You could have warned me,’ you tell Rose.

‘Would you really be okay with having me here?’ she asks.

You pat her on the hand.

‘Rose, you’re a treasure and a little devil. Of course I want you here. Anyone would be lucky to have you.’

She smiles wryly.

‘Mom will be glad to see me go.’

You squeeze her hand instead of replying. You really don’t feel qualified.

‘Tell me Sollux’s secrets, mind-witch,’ you say, distracting her from the heavy stuff.

She sits up straighter and tells you stories about Sollux. Some of it is ridiculous, like the idea that he’s flirting with one of the servants, blatantly in front of his matesprit, the empress, but other bits are weirdly accurate. You don’t know if this is skill or chance. You encourage her either way, asking after the other trolls in the room.

You like how talking to Rose is of national importance, how everyone knows that if you win her over you are that much closer to peace. You like how that means that everyone basically leaves you to your own devices, and when they do come over to talk to you they keep it short and pretty. You think about her wanting to stay and you find that you would like it, that the idea of having human children no longer terrifies you. You were able to get along with Dave and you weren’t lying when you said that the idea of being apart from Rose hurts. Maybe if the political situation was made more steady by your marriage, Dirk wouldn’t feel the need to keep his kids so far apart. Yeah, and maybe you can heal his broken heart with kind words and you’ll live happily ever after. Jesus Christ, when did you become such a naive idealist?

The evening starts to wind down. You catch Feferi’s eye and she gives you a concerned look.

‘Your bro doesn’t like me much,’ you say to Rose. ‘Any clues to win his heart or ... even just get out of this conversation unscathed?’

‘Don’t let your guard down,’ Rose says. You so love hearing that advice. ‘And … be clever. Trolls are tough, he knows that. He needs to respect his partner. Maybe if you win …’

‘In this case, winning is keeping you, isn’t it?’

She smiles innocently.

‘You’re lucky I like you so much,’ you grumble.

She smiles less innocently.

Eventually, the only ones left in the room are you, Rose, Roxy, Feferi and Sollux. Eridan wanted to stay, but he’s a wildcard best left outside delicate situations. Feferi uses her freaky empress powers to turn the huge gilded mirror into a portal. On the other side, you see Dirk, at a desk, resting his head on the heels of his hands, his fingers tangled in his hair. The image lasts a split second before he reacts to the sound of the portal and then he’s standing in the centre of the room, having moved faster than you thought humans were capable.

‘Empress,’ he says with a bow. He doesn’t acknowledge the rest of you.

‘Bro!’ Rose says. ‘Mom, can I go through and see Bro?’

Roxy smiles and looks at Dirk. His poker face melts and he holds his arms open, welcoming Rose. She runs through the portal and it’s the first time you’ve seen her look like a little kid. Dirk spins her around and gives her a big hug. You don’t think it’s coincidence that he finishes his spin facing away from the portal. It seems you were right to try and get to him through his kids.

‘Where’s Dave?’ she asks after he puts her down.

‘Hi, kid, I’m doing great, I know it’s been a while but you don’t have to _overwhelm_ me with all this love and concern.’

She pokes her tongue out at him.

‘Deuce,’ Dirk calls, and the squat guard you remember from their visit enters the room. ‘Go get Dave, don’t tell him why.’

Dirk leans back on the desk and pulls Rose up onto his knee. Yeah, even with that challenging look in his eyes it’s kinda hard to be intimidated by a guy who’s getting nuzzled by his little girl.

‘In the meantime,’ he says, ‘to what do I owe this pleasure?’

‘The visit has been a wonderful success,’ Roxy says, leaning casually into Feferi like it’s no big deal. ‘But we still need some kinda gesture of trust, right? And Rosie has loved being here so much that we thought that if she was to be a guest here for a while, perhaps your engagement could be … extended.’

You notice that Roxy hasn’t admitted that this was Rose’s idea.

Dirk is silent and suddenly Rose doesn’t keep him from looking dangerous anymore.

The door opens and Dave walks in, hands in pockets, looking like he’s not sure what he’s done wrong but he’s going to deny it, whatever it is, and then he sees Rose and his whole posture comes alive with joy as he runs over to hug her. He ends up climbing onto the desk, half on Dirk as well and the prince bears this surprisingly well.

‘Kids, I’m not a piece of furniture, have your reunion not on me,’ he sighs.

‘—and Deuce wouldn’t tell me what was going on—’

‘—and the trolls are so _interesting_ —’

‘—and I broke my practice sword so I get the next one up—’

‘—and Karkat told me that I was really clever—’

‘—and it was so hot we all jumped in the lake—’

‘ _Kids_ ,’ Dirk says, raising his voice over the two of them. They fall silent. ‘Hop off and go sit in the corner or something, Bro’s tryna have a meeting here.’

‘But the meeting’s for _me_ ,’ Rose says.

‘Yeah, sure is,’ Dirk says. He sounds stern.

Rose looks a bit embarrassed and hops of his knee. Dave climbs off the desk too. They cling to each other as they go into the far corner, and you think it’s probably deliberate that they chose one where they can still see the portal from there. They start whispering to each other, this time actually speaking one at a time as far as you can tell.

‘My kid is not a hostage,’ he says.

‘Guest!’ Roxy and Feferi say in unison. They smile at each other.

‘Hon, they love her here. She wants Karkat to teach her all about writing and to play matchmaker and be spoiled. You know I don’t have as much time for her as I’d like, she’d be doted on here, and it makes sense. No one on our side will want to start anything when she’s here and she’s the best kind of embassador the human race could hope for.’

You’re not sure if Dirk hears anything after Roxy says your name. Like it was a signal, he snapped his eyes to yours and glared at you while she spoke. He doesn’t look inclined to break his silence.

‘May I speak with my fiance for a moment, alone, please?’ you say quietly. Well, quietly for you. Everyone looks to you.

‘Come over,’ Dirk says, and it sounds like a threat.

You step through the portal.

‘Hi Dave, nice to see you again,’ you say politely.

‘Yo, Poptart,’ he says.

Dirk tenses even more.

‘Do you kids want to hop over there for a few minutes while Bro and I have a chat? Fef, give us ten minutes?’

‘Make it an hour, Empress. It’s been a week since I saw my _betrothed_ and I have a feeling we’ll need it.’

You raise your eyebrow at Dirk but nod your agreement. The kids need a hand up getting through the portal and then it closes. You turn back to Dirk immediately. You will not let him sneak up on you again.

‘So, are you planning on turning Jade and John against me as well? Or is half fine for your purposes.’

‘See, I thought that a family guy such as yourself would appreciate the effort I’ve put into making nice with your kids.’

‘You’re not their dad.’

You decide not to give that any response but a raised eyebrow.

He doesn’t break the silence. Fuck it.

‘Dirk, we’re getting married. I don’t see a way out of it. It’ll go easier if we’re friends, if you can trust me enough to be in the same building as your kids.’

He starts to pace, his hand gripping the hip where his sword rested last time you saw him. You guess he doesn’t wear it when he’s just doing paperwork. Though you don’t trust that to mean there isn’t an easily accessible blade somewhere in the room.

‘I can’t believe how much I _hate_ you,’ he says, meeting your eyes from halfway across the room.

You’re a second late smothering the instinctive growl that comes up in response to those words. He hears it. He stalks towards you.

‘Was that a _reaction_ I just got out of you, Vantas?’

‘Sorry,’ you say. ‘I’m trying to treat this like a business relationship.’

‘How’s that working out for you?’ He stops only an arms length away from you. He’s so intense. You’re feeling all kinds of stuff you’re trying to bury, smug satisfaction from winning Dave and Rose’s approval, admiration for his fighting skills, a desperation to see how you’d fare against the guy who got several hits on your empress, and frustration because he’s human, he doesn’t mean hate the way you want him to mean it. You want to kiss him until he submits to your way, until he’s all spiked up from desire, not this political bullshit.

‘I—’ you try, but your voice comes out growly.

‘You’re pitch for me, aren’t you?’ he says, surprised and vindictive all at once. Yeah, you’re feeling pretty fucking pitch.

‘I’ll try and contain myself, your highness,’ you say, as dry as you can manage. ‘The last thing you need is your fiance having actual feelings for you. Especially ones your poor human subjects find so repulsive.’

‘Can’t have that,’ he agrees, and then he’s smashing his mouth to yours, gripping your neck and pushing himself to you. He’s taller and you think he might even be standing on his toes a little bit, forcing the advantage. Your claws dig into his sides before you remember yourself, remember how soft human skin is and you dig them into your palms instead, wrap your arms around him, just a bit too firmly to be flushed.

He pulls at your collar with his hands and you feel the fabric begin to rip. You grab his hands, stopping him.

‘You might have a change of clothes here, highness, but I don’t.’

‘Fine, fuck, whatever,’ he says and his fingers find your buttons. He’s so efficient with them that it wouldn’t have saved any time at all to wreck your outfit, it just would have inconvenienced you and shown off his strength. You kiss him harder, knowing that, and reach for his buttons. Your first pitch pail Sollux got you to come before he’d even taken his tie off. You’re not that kid anymore.

You fight Dirk for every gasp, biting him as gently as you can while still being passionate. Fuck, it’s turning you on so much that you have to be careful and he can just go for it. And he’s absolutely going for it, his nails scratching down your back, his tongue fearless in your mouth. You’re growling at a constant, glad he’s not a troll, doesn’t have a benchmark for how fucking _slutty_ you sound for him.

You get him out of his pants a couple of seconds before he finds the strings holding yours up and you smirk at him. He hooks his ankle around yours and trips you to the ground. You let yourself fall heavy, drag him with you. He can’t hurt you without a weapon, you’re pretty sure. You couldn’t give a shit about being on top or bottom, you just want him inside you as soon as possible.

‘Dirk, fuck, come on,’ you say.

He bites your shoulder and grinds down against you. Your bulge wraps around his cock reflexly and he swears under his breath. You were trying to keep that from happening, was hoping that he’d just get to your nook, but nggh, that feels so good. You squeeze him with your bulge and he moans.

‘Come on, come on come _on_ ,’ you chant.

‘What—’ he pants, ‘—can I, _fuck_ , do for you?’

You think he was trying to sound casual there, the fuckhead.

‘Fucking hell, piece of shit human,’ you say, and you roll him over so you’re straddling his hips. You nip him on the ear as you pull your bulge from his cock and then guide your nook onto him.

‘Jesus fucking Christ, Vantas,’ he says, canting his hips upwards deliciously.

You grab one of his hands and shove it at your bulge and he squeezes obligingly. You twitch and his head falls back and it smacks against the floor. He doesn’t seem to care. You grind back and forth and he lets out a stream of words and shit that’s hot, you love his voice.

‘Ffffuck, Karkat, yes, keep going, holy shit, yes, _upi’tr dp jpt_ , fuck.’

He lapses into some other language you don’t understand a word of and that’s hot too. You lean closer, changing the angle, force yourself to pick up the pace. His hand clenches and relaxes on your bulge and now you’re so close, you consider forcing yourself to wait until he comes first but you’re struggling to give a shit about that.

You thrust faster, grind harder and the bastard comes first anyway, you feel him pulse inside you, and, ah fuck, that was actually really hot. It only takes a couple more desperate thrusts and you come.

You slide off him and lay on the floor, catch your breath.

‘Okay,’ he says. ‘I may have really needed that.’

You laugh breathlessly.

‘Can that be how we solve all our problems?’ you ask.

‘Karkat, I’m so fucking lonely,’ he says.

He doesn’t even sound sad, it’s matter-of-fact and you flip flush for him immediately. You pull him into your arms and he doesn’t resist.

‘Been a while?’ you ask gently.

‘Husband’s dead,’ he says, as if you’ve forgotten. ‘Not like the crown prince of all humanity can just go to a bar.’

You hold him tighter.

‘I don’t want to replace him,’ he says.

‘Do I look like Prince Jake even a little?’ you ask dryly. ‘I don’t need to be the love of your life, we can just be allies that live together and sit next to each other at functions. And this. Fuck it, husbands with benefits, that can be us.’

He laughs gently.

‘Okay, fine. I’ll marry you.’

‘Worst proposal I’ve ever gotten,’ you say.

‘You had many?’ he asks. ‘No, never mind, we’ll do the getting to know you stuff later. Tell me what’s going on with Rose.’

‘She doesn’t seem to get along with Roxy that well, thinks she doesn’t have time for her. I don’t know why she likes me. To be honest, I’m terrified of having her around full-time. I don’t know shit about human kids. But I really like her and I think they’re right, it will be good for peace and all that shit.’

Dirk sighs.

‘I thought she’d like living with Roxy because she’s technically her mother. Used her DNA on Rose.’ You must look confused because he explains. ‘Humans reproduce heterosexually when they do it naturally, not that that’s very common anymore. Hips are too small, heads are too big, childbirth is a scary thing. But genetically, we have different … I don’t want to get too sciency, but basically, we still tend to use a male and female donor. Two of my kids come from me, two from Jake, and we got a couple ladies to help us with the other side. I know that’s not the same as … whatever, naturally mothering a kid, but I hoped that it would help.’

You lie in silence for a while, then Dirk sits up and starts dressing himself. You do the same, hoping you haven’t been marked obviously. You can see a small cut on his ear where you nicked him with a claw or maybe your teeth and a hickey that hopefully will be covered up by his shirt collar.

‘I hate this,’ he says when you help him with his cufflinks.

‘What?’ you ask.

‘Domestic shit. I feel like I’m cheating more with this shit than I did ten minutes ago.’

You hesitate.

‘Is that why you were more comfortable with me feeling pitch than flush?’

He nods.

‘Right, well, humans are still idiots, we have to look flushed. But I have no problem keeping caliginous behind closed doors. Might even be hotter that way.’

He examines himself in the mirror and fusses with his hair. You look basically the same as always and you consider that there may be some truth behind Kanaya’s insistence that you need to try harder when you get ready for shit. Sex hair should look different to going out hair.

‘Can Rose stay?’ you ask, remembering that was the reason you were supposed to be talking.

‘Yeah, fine, whatever. I’ll get her tutors sent to you, make sure she has maids and guards she likes, but yeah. You’d have to be pretty stupid to put her at risk and …’ he finally looks at you again. ‘I don’t want to marry you, not yet.’

‘Feferi was planning a return visit in six months, regardless of our shit being together.’

‘She’ll be thirteen. No, it’s good. I wasn’t going to see her until then anyway.’

He scrubs at his face and leans against his desk.

‘Dave’s my oldest, he’s next in line after me. I have to make sure he’s ready. The others, too, but, shit, his dad died so young. Course his grandbro seems like he’s 1000 years old and shows no sign of stopping.’

‘Dirk, you’re a fucking hurricane.’

‘Thanks?’

‘I don’t know if it’s a compliment. But you’re not dying anytime soon, you’re too stubborn.’

Dirk laughs.

You have the sudden urge to tell him fuck it, Rose isn’t staying with the trolls because you aren’t either, you’re moving in with him, he’s your fiance and your kismesis and you’ll stop him from working too hard, force him to make you his focus every now and then, win over his people and be better at being a prince than him. You don’t, of course. You headbutt him, drive your horn into his shoulder.

‘Ouch,’ he says, deadpan.

You don’t have words for what you want to say to him in English. His Alternian is pretty good, it’d have to be, but the nuances are hard to keep track of. And you’re thinking that the cheese you write for a living probably isn’t the way to his heart.

‘I want to devour you,’ you say, the closest thing to true you can make out.

‘You’ll have to catch me,’ he says.

You kiss him, sweetly, because you just got dressed again, but lovingly, because he hates you too.

He pulls away and then one of his hands is curling around your neck and the other around a horn. You growl and bare your teeth but you’re pretty powerless in this position.

‘You betray me, and I won’t hesitate to kill you,’ he promises.

‘I live in a fucking palace. I know you have the resources to make it so I disappear without a trace, I’m not stupid.’

‘I won’t use an assassin. I’m not _kind_ enough to do that. I will kill you myself and I will do it slowly and when I am done you will be displayed as a motherfucking trophy as proof that if you cross the Prince of Derse I will wreck your shit.’

Every word is forced out of his mouth with precision and you don’t miss a single one.

‘I understand,’ you say.


	3. Chapter 3

yo poptart

i want you to know that rose greatly exaggerated that story and this is what really happened. rose spent fucking weeks training that cat in secret and i bet anything jade and john were in on it too because jade reckons she can talk to animals the weirdo and john has a freaky mischief sensor and if theres shit going down hes involved. anyway im just minding my own business i had to do stupid handwriting practice because my writing wasnt always this fancy i tell you what having three and now four penpals has really helped with this shit but this was back when we all lived together so what would have been the point writing and then this hellbeast leaps onto my back and i made a strategic loud noise that might have been compared to a scream by fools who dont know better but it was actually just my decision to try and scare jaspers away and then that didnt work so i shook him off and got the hell out of dodge not because i was scared of the cat but because you gotta be prepared all the time thems the rules and i thought it might be a good training exercise to take it seriously. anyway i gotta keep this one short because im freaking out jade and rose both have birthdays coming up and i cant fucking deal with having to come up with two different sister presents and thirteen is important dude. are you getting us presents? cos my birthday is happening too its just i get to go first because im obviously the coolest and most mature.

dave

dear poptart,

did you really let rose ride a proper sized horse? and can you tell jane that i am old enough to ride a proper sized horse now, especially if rose can, jeez! did you know that bro says that jade and i can come to the palace when you and the empress go to visit!! 

jane took me to see a play last night and it had trolls and humans in it which is really cool! i paid extra attention because last time i saw trolls i didn’t really care. sorry! but i didn’t know any and its much more interesting now because i know you. i got to meet them because im a prince and a troll boy called kurloz scared the bazeesus out of me! he doesn’t speak any english but he’s really good at hide and seek. anyway i have to go because im grounded and i’m supposed to be studying stupid geography. APPARENTLY it’s bad to sneak away with perfectly nice troll kids! 

from john

dear poptart!

have you ever tried playing your plants music? there have been proper scientific studies that show that music can help plants grow and even if it doesnt youll have fun with it!!!!! :)

even if you dont why dont you just tell the servants that they should water the plants once in the morning until the soil is damp and then hopefully they wont drown them and you can keep them in your room! rose used to be bad with plants too but she tells me that she took my advice and is better now!!

i dont know if anyone has already told you, but john and i get to come home when you are visiting! which im pretty happy about because bec is being really overprotective lately. hopefully bro can convince him to relax a bit!

love jade

‘They’re all calling me ‘Poptart’,’ you tell Rose.

‘I told them you approved of it,’ she says.

‘I don’t disapprove,’ you say, carefully. The book on being a step-parent to human children that you picked up from your bemused librarian clearly says that you should never try to force them to love you in a particular way but accept the affection they give you gracefully and enthusiastically. ‘But you can just call me Karkat, you know.’

‘I see no reason to,’ she says, looking up from the book she’s reading and giving you her best princess smile, perfectly innocent. It’s the smile you trust least, but you don’t push it.

Rose has integrated herself into your routine in the past three months. You almost can’t remember what it was like to not have her around. You have breakfast together and then you spend an hour or so organising your life while she comments on everything from what you should be eating for the week to how you should respond to fanmail to how long it has been since you sought your moirail out. Then you sit down to write and Rose knows that she is to be perfectly quiet in her own studies unless you ask her something. (And you ask her a lot of things, like what’s another word for this? Or how can you justify your main character not realising how long it has been since their matesprit contacted them? Or how old did you say your villain was?)

You write until you’ve done 3000 words, sometimes finishing before lunch, sometimes being given a sandwich by Rose when you aren’t having a good day with it and then you go to the library. There, Rose is allowed to ask you as many questions as she wants. You tell her what you’ve written and how far away you’ve drifted from your plan, you show her the difference between your drafts and your finished novels and you go over her incredibly convoluted wizard book. She’s going to be a very different kind of author to you. Your books could generously be called “beach reads” and less generously “trashy romances”. Hers will never be accused of being an easy read.

Then you both choose books for each other to read so that you get to know each other’s culture. She has dutifully found you all her family’s favourite books and you have shown her which ones your clade favours. She was delighted to find out she had similar taste to Feferi and appalled by the simplicity of Gamzee’s favourite book until you told her sternly that not everyone has castle tutors. You think she was trying to prank you by showing you the magical pony adventure novel she swore was Dirk’s favourite. You kind of loved it anyway.

Surprisingly, she gets along with Gamzee. You’re not leaving him unless Dirk or Feferi ask you to for publicity reasons, and even then you’ll kick up a fuss, maybe even try doing it long distance in secret. It’s a romantic enough idea that only the possibility of it becoming your life has stopped you from writing it into your novels.

You make sure to still have alone time with him but are glad that Gamzee is okay with sharing some of your jams with Rose. He’s going to have to put up with a lot more than this if he comes with you to the human kingdom.

You’re all three of you sitting in Gamzee’s room, you treating his nails and Rose watching closely like she’s never seen it before (which maybe she hasn’t, you don’t know if nail care is as important to humans), when Sollux opens the door without knocking.

‘Captor, knock, for fuck’s sake, it’s common fucking courtesy, we could have been doing anything, Gamzee could have been up to anything!’

‘You’re getting polish on the carpet,’ Rose says.

You stop gesturing so violently.

‘As hilarious as it is to see you get shut down by a little girl, I actually came here with a better reason than that,’ Sollux says, sitting next to Rose. ‘TZ says she’s fine with you joining our dungeons and dragons night, by the way. She wants me to tell you that she’s the only one who’s allowed to be a dragon.’

‘Do not pull my princess into your weird and dangerous LARPing, Captor, I swear to god,’ you say.

‘Chill, KK, it’s just RPing, none of the “la”. I can keep the Empress safe, I’m sure I can handle RS.’

You feel yourself beginning to growl protectively. Gamzee pats you on the back.

‘Why are you all up in my respiteblock, bro?’ he says.

‘FF is having a fucking conniption because your fiance’s a toolbag, no offense mini Strider, and I thought I’d get you because you seemed to deal with him last time.’

Your heart skips a beat like a god damn schoolgirl at the mention of Dirk. You haven’t talked to him directly since you convinced him to let you keep Rose. Dave occasionally passes on a message, like, “bro said to tell you that roses tutor wrote him that youre distracting her from her schoolwork and he says stop,” or, “i told bro i was writing to you and he told me to tell you to get fucked, but then he said he was kidding, so i dont know if that counts as progress or not,” or, most recently, “bro got your letter and cant be fucked replying to it, sorry poptart”.

You probably react to those messages far warmer than you’re supposed to. It’s hard for you to remember the sharp Dirk when you’ve seen him vulnerable, it’s like all your memories are softened because you know he has feelings. Because you know he has feelings for you.

‘What’s Dirk’s problem?’ you ask.

‘Something about taxes, I don’t give a single fuck but Feferi is losing it and I’m not her goddamn moirail.’

You glare at Sollux for bringing up your past with Feferi in front of Gamzee.

‘And you seem to be able to talk Dirk down, that was what I meant,’ he says in a rush.

‘Fine. Fine. You coming, Rose?’

‘I have a lot of opinions on the taxation of imports and exports between the kingdoms,’ she says.

‘Of course you do. Gamzee?’

‘Might be time for me to up and meet my clademate, sure.’

He stands and you grab his horn before he can leave the room.

‘You keep your pan straight, you hear me?’ you say, looking him in the eye. ‘It’s more important than ever that you remember that our jams are confidential.’

‘Brother, I ain’t got any intentions to give your spade reason to keep me away.’

You yank on his horn and he ducks his head easily, going along with you.

‘This is what I’m talking about, you stupendous basket of dicks, Dirk is my fiance, nothing else, we’re not fucking quadranted, you keep your talk small and vague and just rely on the fact that you look like such a ball-blistering idiot that no one expects you to know anything more serious.’

‘Okay, buddy,’ he says, smiling dopily at you. You immediately feel incredibly guilty over everything you just said. You kiss him on the horn and let him go, ignoring Sollux’s smirk. He’s seen you do plenty more embarrassing things than that. Why has your clade just swapped quadrants with each other instead of moving on? You hear some people have hatefriends they haven’t pailed or papped. Must be fucking nice.

You lead the way out of Gamzee’s room.

‘So, you and the prince are in spades?’ Sollux says.

‘Gamzee’s just confused. I mentioned Dirk’s an antagonising shit. Which he is, princess, don’t think I’ve forgotten you’re still here.’

Rose smiles slyly at you when you look at her. God you hope she doesn’t write home about this.

‘Rose doesn’t care,’ Sollux says easily. He’s such a fool, sometimes. Rose has all the gossip precisely because people think she either doesn’t hear or care what they’re talking about.

You open the doors to Feferi’s study and find the portal to Derse active and her nowhere in sight. Dirk has his arms folded across his chest on the other side.

‘Where’d she go?’ Sollux says.

Dirk just raises his eyebrow.

‘Check the pool,’ you say. You bow to Dirk. ‘Your highness. Allow me to introduce my moirail, Gamzee Makara.’

Dirk nods his head.

‘These motherfucking portals,’ Gamzee sighs. ‘They’re just crazy, man, it’s like, how do they even work?’

‘Is he serious?’ Dirk says.

‘Don’t tell him, he doesn’t like to spoil the miracles,’ you say, as solemnly as you can, as if you completely support your moirail and have never made fun of him for anything.

‘Are you fucking with me, Vantas?’

‘Woah, watch the language,’ you say. ‘There are young ears present.’

‘Bro, I hope you’re impressed with the irony behind that statement,’ Rose says.

‘I am. Are you gonna pop over?’

Rose grins and walks through the portal, hugging her bro. She’s grown up a lot since they last spoke and you kind of miss the girl who ran into his arms. Damn, it was only three months ago. She’s not too cool to hug him, at least.

You can see Dirk whispering into her ear, but can’t hear what he’s saying. She laughs and dashes from the room. You guess she’s gone to Dave.

‘So, are you just here to console your hysterical empress?’

If there’s one thing you hate, it’s the human tendency to use words like “hysterical” to imply that having passion about a topic makes your argument automatically invalid. You remind yourself that Dirk might be the only person you know who hasn’t seen you have a massive shitfit and you’re going to keep on pretending that you don’t do that.

‘Sollux mentioned you were on the line. I thought you should meet Gamzee before I bring him to the palace in a few months.’

Dirk’s mouth hardens even more, impossibly.

‘Way I see it, we’re clade,’ Gamzee says. ‘And my best motherfucking friend here hasn’t told me that which interests you, but the mirthful messiahs haven’t sent none across my path I can’t talk at yet, I ain’t imagining you’ll be the first.’

You smile lovingly at Gamzee, because he is such an idiot and you hope Dirk hates it.

‘Right. We were supposed to be talking trade embargos.’

‘The empress will deal with that when she gets back,’ you say, waving a hand. ‘This is important, too.’

He glares at you. You feel the rumble of a pitch growl in your chest and suppress it. You hold Gamzee’s hand and let the feeling of pale belonging drown out the thrill of besting a rival. Gamzee smiles at you and you know he understands. He’ll do his part to help you be a better kismesis. Dirk has the advantage, coming from a species that doesn’t purr and growl instinctively, so Gamzee will help you keep that shit on lockdown.

‘So, you’re a juggalo,’ Dirk says, clearly forcing himself to make conversation. ‘What’s that like?’

‘I imagine it’s like being any other kind of creature except that I have the wicked knowledge that the dark carnival is waiting for me and I don’t get my pan all wrinkled when shit happens because I always know that my messiahs are laughing at my triumphs and failures alike.’

Dirk looks at you and you school your expression into a more subdued one than your current one, which feels rather gleeful. There’s just something so satisfying about introducing Gamzee to people you don’t like and seeing them try to be polite. You love your dumb moirail so much.

‘Any other interests?’ Dirk says.

‘Man, so many …’ He trails off, staring at nothing. Or maybe staring at Dirk. You’re not sure. You know from experience that being on the other end of a vague stare from Gamzee is disconcerting. His facepaint is a lot more freaky when his eyes go unfocused.

‘Gamzee?’ you prompt politely.

‘There’s my best motherfucking friend,’ he says, patting you on the face with his spare hand.

‘Dirk asked about your interests.’

‘I don’t even motherfucking know. Will you tell him? I’m gonna take a real quick snooze under my favourite fish-bitch’s desk.’

‘You do what feels right,’ you say.

He kisses you on your nose and crawls under Feferi’s desk, apparently falling asleep instantly.

‘He has a one-wheeled-device that he keeps trying to master, but I don’t know if he’s ever actually managed to stay on it longer than the time it takes to fall off it. He bakes most days. He paints. He has slam poetry battles that only sometimes end in death. He has a matesprit who got injured in the war but thankfully after Feferi took control, so he’s not in any danger of being culled.’

You think for a bit. It’s been a while since you had to describe Gamzee to anyone. Everyone in court knows who he is. Ha, you just had a thought. Dirk probably doesn’t recognise him as the same guy who ended the war.

‘You know he’s the Bard of Rage, right?’ you say, casually.

Dirk’s bemused expression becomes stony.

‘You let him near my daughter,’ he says.

‘It wouldn’t take a hit anywhere near that powerful to do her damage. She’s 12.’ You meet his glare with a relaxed smile. His rage is bringing out a softer side in you. It’s like the angrier he gets the calmer you feel. So weird. You’ve had a tantrum over a chair before. ‘But it’s moot, anyway, Gamzee loves Rose. They paint together. Her paintings are a lot scarier than his.’

‘That’s my girl,’ he says, deadpan.

‘No one’s going to hurt her, Dirk.’

‘What’s taking the empress so long?’ he says, ignoring you.

‘Sollux is an ass,’ you say with a shrug. ‘Not who I’d want as a matesprit. You must have pissed her off pretty good.’

He looks away awkwardly.

‘What did you say?’

‘Embargos are useful,’ he says. ‘I know it’s not pleasant, but they force conversation, if not cooperation.’

‘Feferi only has power because she had the support of the people,’ you say.

‘And your boy.’

‘And my boy,’ you agree. ‘He saw suffering and he reacted.’

Gamzee’s suddenly by your side again, all loose limbed and powerful.

‘The messiahs spoke at me and told me that one great act of violence would save a generation of little grub fellows and tiny pink monkeys.’ He smiles at you, and it’s one of his creepy distant ones. Your hand reaches for his face without thinking. ‘I did good, right?’

‘You did good,’ you say, papping his face.

He purrs and leans on you. You hold him around the waist as you pap him. He leans his head on yours and knocks your horns together, like always. You can’t fight the wince anymore than you usually can.

‘Go back under the desk,’ you say.

‘Man, have you even seen the underside of that desk? It is the perfect place to get a snuggle on, my friend, I can’t even describe it.’

‘I haven’t seen it, no,’ you say. ‘You go look at it some more.’

He hums agreeably and leaves again.

‘I want to talk about that later,’ Dirk says.

‘Sure. Where’d you send Rose?’

‘I sent her to Dave, but there’s basically no way they aren’t listening at the door by now.’

Dirk moves to the door with one of his unnaturally fast movements and throws it open. Sure enough, the kids are at the door.

‘How’d you get rid of Boxcars?’

‘What, you don’t think we can get rid of one guard?’ Dave says. ‘Hey, Poptart, what’s cracking?’

‘That isn’t stopping, is it?’ Dirk says. They move back into the centre of the room.

‘We had a vote,’ Rose says calmly. ‘You wouldn’t want to get in the way of our sibling democracy.’

‘Karkat is fine …’ you say.

Dirk exchanges a look you can’t read with Dave. Before you can ask, Feferi and Sollux come back into the room. They’re both soaking wet, but Feferi looks like a glistening model and Sollux looks like a meowbeast left out in the rain. You hand him a towel you had captchalogued.

‘I will not allow you to threaten people with poverty just to get your bill signed,’ Feferi says.

‘You make us look weak, Empress,’ Dirk says.

Sollux rests his head on your shoulder despairingly.

‘They’ve said so many variations of those statements, I miss when they just made me zap the fucking humans, not listen to them,’ he says.

You shove him towards Gamzee who has come out of the desk again to see what all the extra noise is about and step forward so you’re side by side with Feferi. You stop yourself from grabbing her horn affectionately just in time. It’s been sweeps since you were moirails.

‘Our empress has improved the lives of all trolls with her compassion,’ you say. ‘But do you honestly think that she couldn’t ruin your shit if she thought she had to?’

‘I know she can beat me in a fight …’ Dirk says, defensively.

‘Not her specifically,’ you say. ‘Her as an empire. Do you think we’re a weak people because we have soup kitchens?’

He just glares.

‘Feferi, how would you gain the support of that nation without embargos?’

‘Can I send you?’

‘I’m busy,’ you snarl. Fucking hell. You’re not her only diplomat.

‘Vriska and Eridan can go,’ she says.

Your eyebrows go up without your permission.

‘Well they certainly won’t call you weak,’ you say.

She grins and shows off all her scary teeth.


	4. Chapter 4

Even though you aren’t being made to go on the diplomatic mission to Skaia, you still end up in all the meetings for it (Rose sitting quietly at your side), because apparently you are the whole palace’s auspice. Eridan is desperate to make Feferi proud and you’re hoping that will be enough for him and Vriska to work their magic. 

They’re actually very competent. Well, moderately competent. You would rather send them than anyone else in or out of your clade. It’s just that they are both turned on by each other’s displays of skill, still new in their kismesissitude, lacking the restraint of more seasoned couples. Aradia and Kanaya are never like this. Whenever one of them makes a halfway reasonable suggestion, you almost always end up having to take a break so they can rip each other’s clothes off. It’s incredibly frustrating.

‘I miss the days when you were his kismesis,’ you tell Sollux.

‘I don’t,’ he says. ‘I’d rather have you black than him and that’s saying something.’

‘Would you rather have Poptart or Equius?’ Rose asks curiously.

‘Black?’ Sollux checks.

‘Does that change the answer?’ Rose asks.

Sollux hesitates.

‘You don’t have to answer her,’ you remind him.

‘Karkat’s the worst, but Equius is worse than him,’ he says eventually. ‘He wouldn’t make a bad moirail, I suppose, but he and Nepeta are the only stable quadrant in the palace, so …’

‘Karkat!’ Feferi calls desperately. She’s got a hold of Vriska’s arm and is trying to pull her off Eridan, but they seem to be glued at the lips. She would have been better off going for Eridan, but you suppose you wouldn’t want to grab Gamzee while he was making out with someone either.

‘STOP SUCKING FACE, IT WASN’T EVEN THAT CLEVER,’ you shout. ‘ERIDAN, TELL ME WHY YOU NEED SIX SHIPS, THAT SEEMS TOO MANY!’

Eridan ducks out of Vriska’s grasp to look at you.

‘I wwanted eight,’ he says sulkily.

Vriska purrs approvingly against his neck.

‘YOU CAN FIT SIXTY TROLLS PER SHIP, THAT’S A PREPOSTEROUS AMOUNT OF PEOPLE FOR A DIPLOMATIC MEETING.’

‘Wwe’re supposed to be sendin’ a message a strength.’

‘YOU’VE GOT VRISKA!’

If she gets any more smug, you’re going to have to murder her, it’s just not possible to be around her. Why would you compliment her like that?

‘WHAT’S YOUR ACTUAL MISSION, NOOKWIPE?’

‘To get the carapacians on our side,’ Eridan says.

‘Noooooooo!’ Vriska says. ‘The war’s over, Karkat’s insane moirail saw to that!’ As if her moirail is any more sane. ‘We want open borders, right?’

The meeting goes forever and nothing gets done and you hate it. Rose guides you through the palace by the hand so you can keep a pillow squashed against your face for screaming purposes. Sollux thought he was being clever giving it to you but it is actually very much appreciated. 

She takes you to Gamzee, who was bothering the kitchen staff again. He takes over leading you, taking you back to his room and his pile. You aren’t even screaming anymore, but you keep the pillow anyway. 

He sits you on the pile and hums as he fusses over you. He takes away the pillow and puts it behind your head, pushes you back into the pile. The tiny growl that you’ve had sitting in the back of your throat for the last  _ three hours _ starts to fade as he unbuttons your shirt and by the time he gets you out of your stupid fancy clothes you’re feeling a lot better. 

He hasn’t really even done anything yet but you know he’s gonna take care of you. 

He rubs moisturiser into your skin before dressing you again in comfortable clothes. He treats your claws and horns and combs out your hair. Then he just straddles your lap and rests his chin on your shoulder as he purrs. You feel like you’re melting into the wonderfully misshapen pile beneath you and being crushed by the bony troll above you and it’s indescribably peaceful.

Until Sollux opens the door with no fucking warning. 

Gamzee flips around so he’s crouching over the top of you and lets loose a terrifying snarl. You push him over and pap at his cheek roughly until he settles again. 

‘I’M SOLLUX CAPTOR AND I’M GOING TO SNEAK UP ON THE VULNERABLE HIGH-BLOOD EVEN THOUGH I’VE FUCKING HAD HIGH-BLOOD QUADRANTS BEFORE, EVEN THOUGH I’M PAILING THE GOD DAMN EMPRESS, BECAUSE I’M A FUCKSQUATTING MOTHERFUCKING SHITBITCH. FUUUUUUCK!’

‘Is this how you placate someone, KK? Aren’t you supposed to be soothing?’

‘I’M NOT TAKING DIAMOND ADVICE FROM A PRETENTIOUS DOUCHESHITTING FUCKPUPPET LIKE YOU.’

‘I’m good, motherfucker, I got my calm on nice,’ Gamzee says.

‘I know you do, sugargrub, I got you. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?’

‘Rose is missing.’

You leap to your feet. You don’t recognise the sound filling the room as a troll growl, let alone one you’re making until you see Gamzee’s face, looking at you with concern. It barely stops you. You shove past Sollux and run down the hallway to the kitchens. 

‘Where’s ROSE?’ you scream.

The kitchen staff run from the room instead of answering you. You seize a bronze-blood by his ridiculous horns and slam him into the wall.

‘Where. Is. My. PRINCESS?’

‘She left! She was fine when she was here!’

You scream at him wordlessly. He desperately tilts his head back in submission, baring his throat to you. 

‘Karkat,’ Sollux says, ‘she’s not here, we already checked, leave the poor dude alone.’

You scream again, so loud it hurts your voice, but let him go. He sinks to the floor but doesn’t leave. 

‘Soft boy, good boy,’ Gamzee says, trying to take you into his arms. 

‘You wouldn’t tell me unless she was  _ gone _ ,’ you growl at Sollux.

‘She’s gone,’ he says, eyes wide.

You give zero fucks for your dignity, you run from the room, sprint down corridors until you’re in Feferi’s office. You see her in front of her mirror, the connection open to the human kingdom.

She’s talking to the man who stabbed Sollux all those months ago. 

‘Where’s Dirk?’ you growl.

‘He’s gone too,’ Feferi says, turning to you. ‘Oh, carp, Gamzee, help!’ 

‘I tried, sis, he’s not being papped outta this,’ Gamzee says.

You are vibrating with rage. Your princess is gone. Your fiance is gone.

‘Where’s  _ Dave _ ,’ you say.

‘Gone,’ the human says.

‘Call Roxy,’ you snarl at Feferi.

She doesn’t bother to sign off with the man, just waves her hands and the scene in the mirror changes. The room is empty. You step through without waiting for confirmation. You see a guard down the hall. 

‘Where is Princess Roxy,’ you growl.

‘Sir, you’re not supposed to be here,’ she says.

You lift her by the throat and slam her into the wall. Her companion yells in surprise and pulls out his sword. 

‘I am Karkat Vantas, Prince Dirk’s motherfucking fiance and I have just asked you where Princess Roxy is,’ you say. Your voice sounds strange and distorted around your growl. 

‘She’ll be in her lab,’ the man says.

You drop the woman who gasps for breath. 

‘Show me,’ you demand.

He doesn’t have to. A servant runs into the hallway.

‘Roxy’s gone!’ she says. ‘We’re on lockdown!’

You snarl with frustration and storm back into the office, back through the mirror. Feferi waves her hands the second you’re through and a very different room forms, this one full of rows and rows of plants. A gardener jolts to awareness and rushes to the mirror, bowing low.

‘JADE,’ you say.

The gardener jumps and runs from the room. Gamzee tries to take your face in his hands but you shake him off. He strokes your back in a way that you know is soothing, but isn’t touching you. You can see the slightest sheen of your reflection in the mirror even as it is a portal and you don’t register that your reflection is you at first. 

You don’t stand like that. You have poor posture unless you are representing your empress, but this is different. You’re standing straight, but somehow both tense and relaxed at the same time. Your eyes are almost solid red, your pupils spots of black against your iris and sclera. You’ve bitten your lip at some point and there’s a line of blood dripping down your chin.

The gardener bursts back into the room with frantic eyes. 

‘Gone!’ he says. ‘She wouldn’t leave her rifle, she just wouldn’t!’

Feferi moves her hands again. 

‘Empress!’ someone says immediately from the new room. ‘John and Jane are missing!’

She shuts down the connection. ‘Karkat, we need Kankri,’ she says.

You nod.

‘Where is he?’

You hesitate. Your ancestor has outlived all expectations of his blood-type and it hasn’t been through a lack of caution. He’s a paranoid fucker. You only know how to find him because of your peculiar brand of psionics. You feel the connections between people, their quadrants and clades and even acquaintances. You know where to strike. It’s how you won the war. 

Gamzee was the missile, but you were the guidance system.

‘Get me Terezi,’ you say.

A servant leaves the room immediately.

‘I’m going to get ready. Send Terezi to my room.’

Gamzee follows you out of the room and you don’t protest. You’ll need help getting into armour you haven’t worn in years. You can do it yourself, but you aren’t wasting any time. You wear long, skin tight pants and a chest cover that reaches to your armpits but doesn’t restrict your movement. You equip three different pairs of sickles into your specibus, as well as a variety of things you haven’t used since you were a spy. Poisons, lock-picking equipment, distractions. 

Terezi opens the door as Gamzee is fussing over the way your cloak sits. 

‘I need your lusus,’ you say. ‘I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t urgent.’

‘You’ll need me to come with you,’ Terezi says, her usually loud voice solemn. 

‘Take me, too,’ Gamzee pleads. You can tell from his voice he already knows you won’t. 

‘Keep Feferi safe,’ you tell him. ‘She’s everything, you keep her safe.’

He whines and your heart breaks a little, but you’ve seen him in combat. He can take a hit better than anyone you know. He’s who you want guarding your empress. You’re the guy you want sneaking into wherever the fuck the whole fucking royal family has gotten to.

You turn away and lead Terezi to the courtyard.

Pyralspite is waiting for you, but so is your whole fucking clade. You find it in you to sigh with exasperation rather than snarl with frustration. They won’t hold you back. 

Terezi gives Vriska and then Nepeta kisses before hopping on Pyralspite’s back. Your own goodbyes will take longer. You kiss Gamzee on his forehead, punch Sollux affectionately, grab Feferi’s hand and press it to your lips. She presses a small mirror into your hand and you feel the magic in it, you can contact her wherever you go. You somehow manage to touch all of your clade in a strangely graceful walk to the dragon. You’re touched when Eridan clings to your hand a bit longer than necessary and Nepeta punches you with all her considerable strength. Tavros barely looks at you before wheeling over to Gamzee. You’re glad your moirail has support. You hope he remembers to guard Feferi. 

‘Be careful,’ Kanaya whispers. 

You mount Pyralspite and hold Terezi’s waist. She knows what she’s doing and it’s been a long time since you felt awkward about touching her. When you’ve had someone in all four quadrants, it’s hard to make a big deal out of any kind of vulnerability, even the kind that means she could throw you off a motherfucking dragon.

Terezi makes a high-pitched noise and the dragon stands up abruptly. You cling to her tighter. The dragon hefts its enormous wings up and down and you start to leave the ground. It’s  _ loud _ , more than anything. It’s also murder on your digestive sac. You move up in great bursts and then stop suddenly before you are flung upwards again, and your insides feel like they make the movement several seconds after the rest of you. It isn’t long before you’re high enough to see the whole capital below you and the dragon just has his wings open to stop you from descending.

‘WHERE ARE WE GOING?’ Terezi calls over the wind.

You point over her shoulder. She cackles.

‘A GOOD PLACE TO HIDE!’

You have to adjust course a few times as you fly, but it doesn’t take long to reach the temple where Kankri lives. He is just … so Kankri. 

Pyralspite lands heavily next to the temple, which looks deserted. You know better. You can  _ feel _ Kankri nearby. He must feel you too, because he emerges after a minute or so, holding a spear defensively. He lowers it when he sees that it’s just Terezi, you haven’t been brainwashed into bringing an army with you to kill him. It just might take an army, knowing him. He’s deceptively combative. 

‘Karkat,’ he says. 

‘I need your help,’ you say.

His eyes cloud over with his psionics. 

‘I can see that,’ he says. ‘Come in.’

The interior of the temple is simple but homey. Almost everything is wooden and has a homemade feel. You can sense Kankri all over it, from the rougher tables to things that have been made with more skill, presumably as he has improved. 

‘I don’t understand what I’m feeling,’ he says. 

‘I’m engaged. Oh, fuck, do you even know what humans are, you shitsponge hermit?’

Kankri sighs. His sighs are murder, he’s the most condescending piece of shit you’ve ever met, and you met the previous empress once.

‘I know what humans are, I make a point of staying informed. I know about your engagement to the prince. Congratulations, by the way.’

‘He’s gone missing, with all his kids and their guardians.’

‘I thought it was a political marriage,’ Kankri says, in that tone you hate more than anything else. That smug, self-satisfied, I-know-more-than-you tone.

‘It is,’ you spit.

‘I am a Seer of Blood, Karkat,’ Kankri says wearily. ‘Your companion knows that a Seer is more subtle than … what you are.’

You roll your eyes. Kankri has been trying to get you to understand the implications behind your shared psionics for years. You know enough to use them. You don’t want to sit in a temple in the middle of a godforsaken jungle for years, just you and your shithive ancestor learning “the truth behind the meaning of connection” or some bullshit like that.

‘Find my princess,’ you say instead of rising to the bait. You don’t have  _ time _ for that.

Kankri smirks at you before leading you to an altar. He takes a seat on a pillow in front of it and closes his eyes. 

‘I fucking hate Seers,’ you tell Terezi.

She just grins at you.

Kankri dips his finger in the ink on the altar and touches it to clean paper in front of him. You watch as he draws a map blindly. He scratches a neat X into the map.

‘Your … family … is there,’ he says, giving you the map.

‘Can you read this?’ you ask Terezi.

She takes the map and licks it. The ink smears everywhere, ruining it for people with functioning eyes. She laughs crazily. Kankri gives you a  _ very _ worried look. 

‘I know this place,’ she says. ‘We got this, fearless leader!’

‘Thanks,’ you say to Kankri.

He grabs your hand in his and leans his forehead to your fingers. You watch with alarm. You are not comfortable with him. 

‘You need to come back. I won’t be here, I know you wouldn’t betray me or bring one who would betray me, but I won’t be here. You still need to come to me. Your abilities are different to mine, they’re more active.’

‘I have to go,’ you say. 

‘Karkat, it’s just you and I.’

You meet his eyes for a long moment until he lets you go. You walk with confidence to Pyralspite and climb on his vast back, ignoring how uneasy that whole interaction made you. Terezi climbs up behind you. You do not feel comfortable gripping the scales rather than her, but you’re not about to lose face in front of Kankri. You press your palms to him for balance as he takes off. You lean back into Terezi’s cool body, hoping that she’ll keep you steady. She licks the back of your ear. 

She shrieks out a horrible noise and Pyralspite glides towards the sunset. 

‘YOUR ANCESTOR IS KIND OF HOT,’ Terezi says.

‘FUCK YOU!’ you say.

She cackles in your ear and then bites it affectionately. You’re glad she has your back for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Plot??? In my fic???  
> Anyway, next chapter is from Dirk's POV. :)  
> (If Kankri had heard the noise Karkat made in his room, he would have recognised it as a very specific parent noise that Porrim made defending him. Karkat absolutely has emotionally adopted Rose, however this turns out.)


	5. Chapter 5

You force yourself to give your father audience at least once a week. If you didn’t schedule it you would literally never do it, despite the fact that he is your king, that he rules over all humanity. Supposedly. Everyone knows that it’s really you. Which is how you like it.

‘—boy is a good sort, isn’t he?’ your father says. 

You hope he’s talking about Dave. You tuned him out for a bit there. He’s just  _ so old _ .

‘I certainly think so,’ you say.

‘What?’ he says.

‘Yes,’ you say, loudly and clearly.

‘Hmm,’ he agrees. ‘Where are the others?’

‘I spread them out, father,’ you say. ‘So we weren’t vulnerable.’

‘Hmm,’ he says. ‘Where is Dave?’

You look around. Dave has snuck away again. He’s supposed to stay with you, to listen to his grandfather and update him on whatever he’s up to. King David likes his grandson’s stories. He could only sneak away from you when you are determined to tune out your surroundings, which basically only happens around your father.

‘He had class,’ you say, to cover for him. You’ll tell him off later. 

‘I like that boy. He’s his dad’s son, nothing to do with you.’

‘Yes, father,’ you say. 

It’s another hour before you escape. 

‘Where’s Dave?’ you ask Slick.

‘Gym,’ he says. 

Of course. Dave’s obsessed with training lately. You want him to be strong, but he’s taking it too far. You think. It’s hard to know. Jake was always the one who knew what the kids wanted to be when they were grown up, how to support them. You listened to him, you know what they wanted a year and a half ago, but they don’t talk to you as easily as they did their dad. You don’t think it’s just because they’re far away. Their letters feel … polite.

Dave’s not in the gym when you get there, it’s empty. You feel that tingle of wariness that has plagued you your whole life. It’s an earned paranoia. 

You turn back to Slick, who’s followed you.

‘You go towards the castle,’ you tell him. 

You head outwards, your sword loose in your scabbard. You make a slow perimeter, your eyes open for disturbance. You see the spot where the servants trade shifts and privileges, you see the garden that grows less-than-legal herbs, you see a corner where you’ve caught people enjoying each other’s bodies. You don’t see anything unusual happening. 

Your kingdom never runs like clockwork, there’s always someone swapping a shift or correcting a mistake before a master notices or skiving off. There’s none of that today. It makes you uneasy.

When you see a figure in a cloak, you take the high path, scaling a building and running along it, keeping pace well above them. They duck into an alcove and you drop down, light and soundless. You draw your sword and follow.

It doesn’t make sense that you’re waking up, you don’t remember losing consciousness. Your head hurts like a motherfucker, it’s distracting you from almost everything else. It hurts more when you try and open your eyes so you squeeze them closed while you try and figure out where you are.

Your arms hurt. A lot. You’re strong, it takes a lot to strain you, but your arms feel numb where they’re pinned above you. Jake would never leave you like this without explaining himself. And he’s dead. You’re alone. There’s no innocent reason for you to be in this position.

You squint your eyes open and take in your environment. You’re in some kind of dungeon, and now you’re conscious you can put your weight on your feet which gives your shoulders some relief. You eye the room.

Fuck.

‘Dave,’ you say. Your voice comes out raspy. You try again, aiming for a shout, fuck what other people think, you’ll scream for your boy if you have to. ‘Dave!’

You’re adjusting to the light more and more, it’s definitely Dave, strung up like you, chained by his wrists and ankles with manacles. Too thick to cut through. And your sylladex is empty, you can feel it. He’s unconscious, you don’t know for how long, you start a mental clock, useless as it is without knowing how long you’ve been under and decide not to worry about that for now. There are more pressing concerns than brain injury. 

A troll man opens the door and you stand as tall as you can, bare your teeth and glare at him. 

‘You will  _ pay _ for taking my son,’ you tell him. 

‘Easy does it,’ he says, his hand raising to his head and then you’re falling unconscious again.

When you wake up, you remember waking up before. Your sore shoulders don’t let you forget. You remember to open your eyes slowly, even though that does nothing for the dryness you feel even with them closed.

The sight you see makes you groan. Rose, John and Jane are in the basement now, too. 

‘Dave,’ you moan. None of them stir at the sound of your voice. You’re resistant to psionics, you know this, it’s never hurt as much as it does now. 

Your whole head  _ pounds _ , but you force yourself to think anyway. Is it worth breaking your thumb to escape? You would have to break both thumbs, you have nothing to pick the lock on your other hand, and then both hands would be useless. And your feet would still be trapped.

You have to  _ think _ . 

You only gave your DNA to Rose and Dave, both of whom are with you. They should have some resistance as well. Dave could have woken up while you were out and been put out again. How long has Rose been here? You have  _ no fucking data _ . 

You decide to keep quiet this time, not alert the troll guard to your awareness. Every blink hurts. Your whole  _ face _ hurts. You lick your lips and it makes no fucking difference. You are very much regretting not placing hydration higher up on your priorities. 

Jane is the one that wakes up first. 

‘Jane,’ you say, before you can help yourself. 

You let her wake up properly, watch her as she gains more and more awareness.

‘Dirk?’ she says.

‘Hey Janey,’ you say. ‘How ya feelin’?’

‘We’re in a dungeon, Dirk,’ she says.

‘Yeah.’

‘We’re in a  _ fucking _ dungeon!’

‘Honorary member of the royal family,’ you say. ‘Good for you, being treated important.’

She glares at you. 

‘Oh, John,’ she says, suddenly realising the bigger issue. “Oh, Rose, Dave! Where’s Jade?’

‘Probably on her way. I woke up when it was just me and Dave, but they knocked me out again. I don’t want to say it’s the trolls, but they definitely have a troll psionic on their side, all knocking us out and junk.’

‘Dirk, there’s no conspiracy.’

‘Jane, we’re in a motherfucking dungeon.’

A noise startles both of you into shutting the fuck up. You watch the door warily, not sure what position is the most defensible. You’re pretty fucking vulnerable like this. 

‘Pretend to be unconscious,’ you hiss.

Jane nods at you and hangs her head. You notice she doesn’t relax her legs. Her arms are probably giving her just as much grief as yours are. 

There’s a lot of noise happening outside of your dungeon. You can’t imagine what is happening out there. You peek through your eyelashes and keep still, let your body relax, ignoring all the hurt. There’s a lot to ignore.

A troll and a carapacian drag Becquerel into the room. He’s the last guy you expected someone to get the drop on. After you, you guess. Well, fuck. Another troll has Jade over his shoulder. 

God, next to a full-sized troll she’s so tiny. Your heart breaks for your kids, they’re all here and you’re just stuck doing  _ nothing _ . You barely think before you dislocate your left thumb, the one that’s been fucked before, and it hurts like fire on your skin but you ignore it, stare at Jade’s limp body as you use your mangled hand to break your right thumb as well. 

The carapacian drops Bec and goes to club you unconscious, but you duck and grab his head with your fingers. You see red blood well under your nails before you jerk your hands savagely and break his neck. 

‘Don’t go near him!’ one of the trolls warns. 

You do your best impression of a growl and sink into a ready position.

And then, nothing. 

Fucking psionics.

When you wake up there is tape on your swollen hands and they’re back in the manacles. Your face hurts where you evidently used it to break your fall and you can feel tape on your forehead over the worst part as well. You won’t be pulling that one again. All four of your kids are chained up, with Jane, Roxy and Bec. 

Rose and Dave are awake and watching you. You force yourself to ignore the pain, affect a calm attitude. Fear can’t help them now. 

‘Bro?’ Rose says.

‘I’m fine, chicken,’ you tell her.

‘You’re covered in blood,’ Dave says.

‘It’s nothing. Are you okay?’

They both nod at you. Dave rolls his shoulders. He’s been in the shackles just as long as you have. You resist the urge to try and slip out again. It’s a close thing. 

There’s a noise outside and you all look to the door like rabbits. You don’t bother pretending unconsciousness this time, it didn’t seem to help Jane. 

A carapacian and troll enter. The carapacian starts to sign. You understand his words, but the troll translates anyway.

‘Skaia is more prosperous than your pathetic human kingdom, or even the troll empire. We have your entire line in custody. There will be no escaping. If you pay us regular donative, we will allow you to leave with your lives. Your children will be your collateral.’

They look at you expectantly.

‘Fuck. You.’ You spit on the floor despite your dry mouth. A thread of spit clings to your chin. You hope it makes you look desperate and dangerous. You’re not the man they can reason with. You’re a father who is willing to break himself over and over to save his children. They chose the wrong country to bargain with.

The troll goes to Rose and grabs her by her hair. She tries to bite him, but he’s not in reach.

‘Your children are your collateral,’ he repeats.

‘You only have one of my fathers,’ Rose says, her voice high with anxiety, but strong. ‘Just you wait until my Poptart gets here.’

‘You know, I’ve suddenly realised why he isn’t fond of that nickname,’ Dave says.

It doesn’t exactly inspire fear, no. But she’s right, Karkat isn’t here. You don’t want to say it’s a troll conspiracy, but the theory is currently ratcheting up the charts in your head. The only flaw is that you’re not married to him yet, the timing doesn’t quite make sense.

The troll drops her and backhands her across the face. She cries out in pain.

‘She’s a  _ child _ ,’ you spit.

‘She’s  _ your  _ child,’ the troll says. ‘Are you ready to talk terms?’

‘I will not be blackmailed,’ you say. You’re proud of how flat your voice comes out. You hope your kids know that it’s an act. You’ll fold like an origami bird if you think they’ll actually hurt your kids.

The troll drags a yellow claw down Rose’s cheek. She kicks her arms and legs in discomfort, her face scrunched up. It’s a deep cut. She doesn’t cry out. 

‘Are you so willing to damage your collateral?’ you say.

‘You have four,’ the troll says with a shrug. ‘Maybe I’ll keep this one for myself.’

You scream at him, you can’t help it. Some of it is words, some Common, some Eldritch, most of it is just noise. You pull against your restraints with abandon, the pain can’t touch you like this.

The troll takes his hands back, folds them behind his back.

‘Be reasonable, Prince Dirk,’ he says.

You have no more spit to give him. Your shoulders crack in their sockets as you push away from the wall, teeth bared.

The carapacian signs at the troll. < _ Perhaps we should come back later _ .>

The troll nods. He puts his hand to his head, closes his eyes, and—

When you wake up, everyone’s asleep again. You stand on your toes and whine as feeling begins to shoot down your arms. You might prefer them numb, on balance, but you know that’s stupid. 

‘Jake, if I was wrong, if there’s an afterlife and you are looking down on me, I’d sure as fuck appreciate some help.’

Nothing happens. You suppose that if the chains can hold your dead weight you probably can’t loosen the bolts on the wall but you look at the fastenings with grim interest anyway. It’s something to do. You will escape from here. 


	6. Chapter 6

After flying an uncomfortably large distance in an uncomfortably short time, Terezi signals for Pyralspite to land again. She has some kind of armour for Pyralspite that covers you as riders and allows him to breathe in space while keeping his wings free to fly. You don’t know how he flies in space. Hell, you don’t know how he flies on Prospit. You assume he has some kind of psionics because no wing should be big enough to lift a beast as heavy as he is.

Eridan has told you about the times when dragons were as common as woolbeasts, how they were used in the military until they were all killed, doomed by their incredibly slow reproductive cycle that matched their long lives but couldn’t be sped up when they were being killed unnaturally early. He probably told you all sorts of other things about them, too. Even when he was your matesprit you didn’t really pay that much attention to him. Hence the breakup, really.

Terezi hops back on Pyralspite first after she dresses him in his armour. You think all three of you are more comfortable with her in front. He flies you to Skaia. You assume it’s his magic making the trip seem short. And all your lusus ever did was screech at you and occasionally bring dead things back to the hive. 

You haven’t been here since the war. You never were paired with Terezi then, she and her lusus were part of the ludicrously showy advance guard. Most of your clade was. You can’t imagine these unreasonably shiny scales having any kind of subtlety. They very much could have blinded the opposition, though, you suppose that would be useful.

You worked alone, or with Gamzee or Nepeta. One memorable time it was all three of you and Equius, who was assigned to similarly stealthy missions despite his size and strength. You snuck past the fighting to assassinate generals, to disrupt the ranks like only you could. You knew who to take out to devastate the whole army. Nepeta was a fierce fighter and excellent at sneaking. Everyone thought you were kind of babysitting Gamzee, but his chucklevoodoos saved your skin more times than you would like to admit.

You really hope Terezi’s fighting is compatible with yours. 

Pyralspite enters the atmosphere of Skaia with surprisingly little production and dives straight for the ground. He only pulls up when his enormous talons are only feet from scraping in the dirt. He flies low to the ground for a long while, before landing on a farm. Or what was once a farm. The fields are overgrown with too many different kinds of plants to be intentional and the fences are in horrible condition. The wooden house has cracked paint and you can see at least one broken window. 

‘How far away are we?’ you ask.

‘Why don’t you tell me, mister blood magic man!’ Terezi says.

You glare at her. 

‘Not far,’ she amends. ‘Well, far enough. But Pyralspite can’t get any closer without being detected and I assumed if you wanted that you would have asked Feferi for a fleet, not snuck in with us.’

You nod and start to pace.

‘Want to let me in on the plan, fearless leader? I’ve got a pretty good mind for strategy, you know!’

You eye her carefully.

‘We know nothing. Nothing. We can’t just charge in there with our bulges out and hope for the best. And they have hostages. Enough that they could easily kill one to prove they’re serious and just barter with the rest, though I hope they realise that they will fucking doom themselves if they hurt them. Still.’

You sit on the ground and take out your tea set. The dirt is hard and cracked like scales that crumble to dust when you disturb them. You have a special (albeit illegal) blend of tea that enhances psionics. You set the kettle to boil.

‘Do you remember when the humans captured Kanaya? God, you know, that plan was probably all Dirk, now I think of it. Because of their poisoning, her lusus was the last viable mothergrub and Kanaya had her matriorb.’

‘I never heard about this,’ Terezi says.

‘Fuck. Yeah, actually, Fef did keep it quiet. Didn’t want to cause a panic. We came this close to extinction.’ You hold your claws so close together they almost touch. ‘So, basically, they had us by the shameglobes. Like I say, that had to have been Dirk. Feferi was a fucking mess, she’d just defeated the other Empress and Prospit was basically burning to the ground around her already.’

‘This was when you were still moirails.’

You flinch. 

‘Yeah. Um. Moving on. I couldn’t console her and her shithive lusus was getting distressed because she was distressed, which, like,  _ no _ . So, I went to Kankri like I did tonight. Except he came with me.’

You pour the tea into two mugs and hand Terezi one. She  _ has _ psionics, she’s used them before, but they aren’t often in her control. She’s not confident in them. Maybe it’ll help. Terezi holds the tea in both hands and inhales with gusto. You watch the steam mist around her face.

‘We found Kanaya easily. Kankri and I … We could probably find anyone, if we worked together. He says every person is less than ten connections away from every other person, which, I call bullshit, but whatever. And we infiltrated the place, killed all the humans in a mile radius and rescued Kanaya. She was so pissed that we didn’t let her kill them.’

You shudder. Kanaya held the future of all trolls in her hands and she was fiercely protective of it. She’s worked so hard to restabilise the breeding caverns.

Terezi sips her tea. 

‘How?’ she asks.

You knew she would ask. You’re sick of keeping this secret. You’re not at war anymore and you will never be at war with her, what does it matter if the secret weapon is known? 

Feferi will kill you for this.

You drain your tea and close your eyes, reaching for your psionics. You wrap your powers around you slowly and carefully. It’s the strangest feeling. You know that they don’t affect you, that they burrow their way into everyone else around you, but you feel like it’s on your skin. It prickles like when you sit on your foot for too long and the blood comes back with a vengeance.

‘How are you doing that?’ she asks. ‘What the  _ fuck _ is that?’

‘Who do you … smell?’

‘Nepeta. That’s not  _ possible _ .’

‘Don’t tell Vriska. My powers target your closest bond. And replicate it perfectly.’

She touches your face with hesitant fingers.

‘Fuck,’ she breathes. ‘You  _ feel _ like her. You  _ sound _ like her.’

‘Only to you.’

‘Kankri can do this as well?’

You release your magic and take deep steadying breaths. Once they’re on it’s easy to maintain but gathering and releasing are hard. And it’s been a while. And you were never as good as you could have been. 

‘No,’ you say when you feel more stable. ‘But he didn’t live so long without knowing how to hide. People tend not to worry about anything else when they see someone so important in the room. And it’s not perfect, by the way. It changes how you hear my voice, but not the things I say. Thank fuck I’m good with languages. And when there’s multiple people I’m nearly always found out, but the confusion buys me time.’

Terezi stares at you. 

‘Karkat …’ she says. ‘Why didn’t you  _ tell _ me.’

It’s a fair question. You were moirails when you did it for the first time, accidentally, same as most psionics discover their powers, terrified by the buzzing on your skin and the way it looked to you, your whole body blooming traitorously red under your grey skin. You were matesprits when you found Kankri, drawn to his blood, and he taught you the basics. (You only lasted a couple of weeks, he’s not an easy person to live with, but at least it stopped you having random attacks.) You were kismeses when you rescued Kanaya. 

You don’t answer her.

‘Who else knows?’ she asks, and it hurts your bloodpusher that she sounds close to tears. She doesn’t cry easy.

‘Feferi,’ you say. ‘That’s it, not even Gamzee. Feferi and Kankri and now you.’

She takes a shuddery breath and nods. You squeeze her hand.

‘I was nearly cross, then,’ she says. ‘We’ve been all over each other’s quadrants more than anybody.’

You let go of her hand. It’s hard not to be pale for everyone when you get constant emotional feedback from them. Gamzee is the only one who hasn’t held this against you. Feferi … took it worse than most. You’re good, now. The war ending kind of threw everything into perspective, and time has healed the rest of it.

‘So, the question is, do you come with me or do I leave you behind? Because I can do this alone. I  _ have _ done this alone. All those missions, I made my partner come from a different angle, you know? But I don’t think they’ll even notice you if I’m there. And your powers could be useful.’

‘You need me,’ she says.

‘No, I don’t.’

‘Yes, you do.’

‘Terezi, I fucking don’t, I’ve just outlined all the ways in which I don’t need you or anyone. I’m fucking unstoppable, even when they figure me out do you think you would shoot someone you think is impersonating Nepeta? No, you fucking wouldn’t, because what if it really is her?’

‘Yes, you do.’

You glare at her. Predictably, this doesn’t phase her.

‘FINE.’

She grins. 

You pack all the tea stuff up and grumble as you do it. No one can grumble like you can, other idiots make the mistake of doing it under their breath, when really it’s much more effective to shout-grumble your grievances. Terezi has known you long enough to not give a shit.

You continue to shout-grumble as the two of you run towards the place where they’re keeping your … family. Now that you’re close, you can feel the strands that bind you to the humans. The strongest one is between you and Rose, which makes sense, then yours and Dirk’s, and from there the spidery pattern that connects Dirk and Rose to the rest of the humans feels just as strong as the connection between you and the others. Only because you feel your connections the most, not because you love them as much as they love each other.

Though, despite the fact that these relationships are alien and new to you, you are very much looking forward to killing the people behind this. You have grown to care about all the children through their letters and you feel a personal responsibility for Rose. 

You have to stop ranting when Terezi speeds up again because it’s wasting your breath. You think she’s done that on purpose. You approach a large building on the edge of a city, stark and industrial. 

‘Do you have anything that will even slightly disguise you?’ you ask.

Terezi pulls a black cape from her sylladex and wraps it around herself. You sigh at the sight of your sign holding the clasp closed at her neck. Yeah. You suppose that’s as anonymous as you can get. You pull the hood over her horns. They slide into the little holes cut out for them and remain just as obvious poking out the top of the hood. Fuck it.

You close your eyes and tug on your psionics. They come easier this time, eagerly pricking across your skin. You wait until you feel confident that they will hold and stride towards the door.

The carapacian at the front desk drops the bundle of papers he’s carrying when he sees you. 

_ <What are you doing here?> _ he signs.

_ <Surprising you!> _

Terezi starts to do a perimeter with all the subtlety you expect from a tealblood. She’s never had to be small or hidden in her life.

_ <There’s something going on, today. You shouldn’t be here.> _

_ <Tell me.> _

The carapacian drops the papers messily and runs towards you.

‘All clear,’ Terezi says. 

You smile at him and have your sickle to his throat before he can move away.

‘Do you understand Alternian?’ you ask him.

He nods.

‘Excellent. Where are the royal humans being kept?’

_ <Why are you doing this?> _

You grab the back of his head firmly so you can press your sickle carefully to his throat, just enough to draw blood.

_ <In the dungeons. Don’t go down there, they’re crazy.> _

You cut his head off with a smooth motion. Blood goes everywhere, red blood, like your own. At least the war cured you of that squeamishness. Red blood meant that none of your clade was injured. You can handle red blood. Well, to an extent. This is just a ridiculous amount of blood. You sigh and wipe your sickle on your pants, which are also covered in blood.

‘He could have had more information,’ Terezi says.

‘This is a motherfucking rampage. We’re not pausing for information.’

Terezi grabs your arm, stops you from marching through the door leading out of the reception area.

‘Karkat. We’re not at war. You can’t just cut everyone down. You’ll have to answer for every one of these deaths.’

‘If they had Gamzee, no one would judge me. Rose is … she’s family, Terezi.’

She stares at you intensely. You go to shake her hand off, but she holds you firm.

‘Feferi won’t care,’ you insist.

‘No. Our friend, Feferi, will probably walk through here once we’re done and relish in the blood you spill and congratulate you on your skill. But our  _ Empress  _ says she wants peace. She can’t reward this. What use is saving your family if you’re never allowed to be a part of it? If she gives Dirk to … Kanaya?’

You stare at her. You cup her face with your hand and you know it feels like you’re Nepeta, you know this is cruel, using her emotions to get your way. She doesn’t lean into you. You know she’d kill you, you or Nepeta or anyone, if she thought it was the truly right thing to do. What you have to do is make sure she never thinks that.

‘Terezi … They’re holding Derse hostage. An entire planet. And, fuck, if Derse goes down, so do we, or best case scenario we’re at war again. We can’t afford to get stabbed in the back today. We need a clear path.’

You’re  _ very _ conscious of the fact that you’re standing in this building on Skaia, this building with plenty big enough windows, two trolls on a planet that heavily regulates its visitors. And the decapitated carapacian isn’t exactly subtle, either. 

She nods.

‘Karkat,’ she says firmly, like she’s deliberately using your name. She’s the first person to experience your power like this, Kankri can see through it and Feferi’s strongest connection was  _ you _ when she saw it. You have no idea what this must be like. ‘I have your back. Don’t start a war.’

‘We’re preventing one,’ you insist. 

She lets you go and leads the way through the door. There are stairs leading up and down. She looks to you for guidance.

You feel out with your power, for the heat of warm bodies.

‘There’s a troll here,’ you say. ‘Actually, there’s three.’

‘Are we rescuing first or interrogating first?’

‘Flip for it?’

Terezi grins at you and pulls out her coin. She holds it for a moment, concentrating on the options, before flicking it high into the air. She shows you.

‘Bad head. Let’s go kick in some teeth.’

 

You take the stairs to the next level up and feel for the warmth of all the bodies. 

‘Three in here,’ you say quietly. ‘All carapacian.’

Terezi draws her sword and nods. You open the door.

It’s bad enough when three people speak over one another, three people signing at the same time is incomprehensible.

_ <Please sit down.> _ you sign.

They all sit. Terezi closes the door and they notice her for the first time and all immediately begin to move their hands again.

_ <One at a time!> _ you insist. You point to the tallest one, on the left hand side.

_ <What are you doing here? Who is she? What’s going on?> _

‘Do you understand Alternian?’ you ask.

Two nods and a baffled look. You sigh. 

_ <Promise me you’ll stay in this room today.> _ you say.

You hold out your hands and they all touch you and nod. It’s  _ very _ hard to break a promise to you.

You release your psionics and smile at them without humour. 

_ <What did you do?> _

_ <Did you hurt her?> _

_ <Who are you?> _

‘You all know that you’ve kidnapped the human royal family, I take it?’

They nod, slowly and uncertainly.

‘Right, well, I take fucking issue with that. Why did you do it? You.’ You point to the tall one again.

_ <The humans stopped paying us and serving us.> _

‘No shit, they don’t like being slaves. You think they’ll just go back to that if you take a few rich bastards from them?’

_ <We don’t have enough.> _

Terezi snarls and throws back her hood.

‘Oh, Mister Chalkface, you have made a very grave error, today,’ she says. She leaps lightly onto the table and looks down on the carapacians. They look very concerned.

She whips her sword out and points it at the same tall one you’ve elected spokesperson. You’re taken back to a million courtroom drama roleplays with her. You lean against the wall and let her at them.

‘Tell me! Are your actions condoned by the governing body of Skaia?’

_ <We don’t have a governing body of Skaia, how can you talk of peace when you never remember the first things about our culture?!> _

Terezi leaps off the table so that she is towering over him in his chair. Her face is about an inch from his. 

‘What a deplorable answer, Mister Chalkface! It’s as if you think you can distract me from the point at hand with semantics! Your face smells delicious and white, but your obfuscation REEKS!’

Oh, that’s why you were never partnered with Terezi. Zero volume control. Obviously exactly what is needed on stealth missions. (You ignore the irony of your internal criticism. You’re quiet when you aren’t speaking.) You pull your psionics over yourself as the door opens and two more carapacians burst inside.

_ <Come inside, quickly,> _ you tell them. 

They obey and you close the door again. 

You ignore whatever they’re signing at you to continue watching Terezi. She slaps the carapacian across the face. And then again. She steps back and crosses her arms and stares at him. 

You know that she’s gotten inside information out of countless prisoners, but it’s just so hard to take her seriously. Menacing silence never seemed like an effective technique when she described it, either, but she’s a pretty imposing figure. 

One of the new carapacians is tugging on your arm brace for your attention. You snarl at her. She cowers and stays still. Yeah, it would be quite distressing to have the love of your life do that to you.

After a few long minutes of Terezi just staring at the carapacian, he finally moves his hands again.

_ <We’re not government sanctioned,> _ he signs.  _ <But we will be. Every country is talking about how we can  _ fix _ things. This will work. > _

‘Excellent!’ Terezi says. ‘Now, seeing as killing you will most likely not  _ automatically _ start a war, and letting you live just  _ might _ … I think we leave your life in  _ fate’s  _ hands.’

She pulls out her coin and holds it close to the carapacians face, so close that he goes a little cross-eyed. She turns it so he can see the other side. 

‘Legislacerator, is this flip just for the accused, or is it for the whole room?’ you ask.

‘Oh, my dear, sweet, lovely, innocent counselor. Or indeed, pouncelor, if you prefer.’

‘I do not.’

‘This is for the whole  _ building _ !’

You and Terezi share a wild grin.

‘The accused will now tell the mighty legislacerator who is in charge here, in the hopes that it may sway her awesome judgement!’ Terezi declares.

_ <Draconian Dignitary,> _ the carapacian signs, without hesitation.

‘The prosecution thanks you for your compliance,’ Terezi says.

She flips the coin. Bad head. 

You equip your sickle and decapitate the two carapacians standing with you without hesitation. Terezi makes short work of the other three.

‘Red is the  _ best _ colour,’ she tells you.

‘You’ve mentioned,’ you say, dryly.

‘Wanna flip pitch after this?’

‘I am not satisfying your red fetish with my bulge, Pyrope,’ you say, but she’s made you smile and she knows it.

‘How many more?’ she asks.

‘Fuck. At least twenty. I can’t … It’s hard to tell them apart.’

She pats you on the shoulder. 

‘Your powers suck ass, Karkat. You should go train with your hot ancestor.’

You roll your eyes. At least now she’s done her interrogating you can just murder everyone and get to the dungeons and your family. It was very strange being the more murder-happy one there. She seems to be over that, now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a big fan of BAMF Karkat. It was murder to cut this chapter into two, because I'm looking forward to the reunion so much, but I think it needed to be done. The other half won't be far away.  
> Also, I am so new at writing Terezi, please give me your feedback on her because she's gonna feature a bit more! Any comments, actually, are super appreciated. <3


	7. Chapter 7

You kill everyone in the building. You were considering sparing the trolls, to give them to Feferi (not the kinder option) but they were all three high level psionics, so you took the opportunity you had and killed them. 

When you are finished, your arms are heavy from your sickles and you have a headache and unpleasantly sensitive skin from your psionics. You have a burn from a psychic blast on your arm and a cut on your leg, both from the trolls. Terezi is walking tentatively on one foot, but fared better than you and she did more damage as well. This is not a surprise. You infiltrate, your fighting isn’t anything to write home about.

The dungeon door is heavy and locked. You really don’t want to have to loot through all the bodies upstairs until you find the one with the keys. You look at the hinges to see if you can pry them off.

Terezi shoves you out of the way and cracks her neck.

‘Terezi, no,’ you say.

‘TEREZI, YES!’ she cries.

She swings her leg up and then brings her foot down on the lock with all her force. The lock shatters and the door cracks around it. 

‘You’re the least stealthy co-player, I swear on the mother grub I am never teaming up with you again.’

She cackles and hops as she holds her heel. Now both her feet are hurt. Idiot.

You push the door open.

On the wall opposite the door is Dirk, a man you don’t recognise, and Roxy. A dark haired woman and two children who must be Jade and John are on the left wall. Dave and Rose are hung on the right wall.

You drop your sickle and run to Rose. Her arms must be killing her, they’re supporting her whole weight and the manacles are thick and unyielding.You claw over the metal, looking for the way in. 

‘Karkat,’ Terezi says.

You turn and snarl, but she’s holding a key. She must have found it while you were freaking out. You catch it when she throws it and unlock the chains. You struggle to hold Rose’s unconscious form while you work the key in the locks, but you manage. You take comfort in the steady heartbeat you feel from all the humans, pulsing in your head reassuringly. The kind of thing you usually tune out, but now you cling to.

You finally get Rose down and cradle her in your arms, stroking her sweat-damp hair out of her face. There’s an ugly cut on her cheek that you don’t dare touch, even though your instincts are screaming at you to lick it clean. She’s human, you don’t know if she works that way.

Terezi considerately doesn’t mention the noise that your body is making, or anything for that matter. She just takes the key from where you dropped it and gets to work freeing the rest of the humans. You should help her, you really should, but you just press your cheek to Rose’s head and make the strange growling noise instead. 

She frees the children first and arranges them carefully on the floor before tending to the adults. She meets your eyes when she frees Dirk and motions at the bandages on his hands and face. He’s the only one apart from Rose with blood on him. You don’t know what she expects you to do about it. She lies him on the ground and continues her work. You just hold your girl.

The gentle sound of fabric shifting grabs your attention and you see Dirk slowly regaining consciousness. Not as slow as you would expect from someone under the influence of psionics. He’s too powerful for a human and it weirds you out. (He managed to get a hit on Feferi, for fucks sake.) 

He starts to push himself up off the ground.

‘Don’t move,’ you tell him. ‘Let it wear off.’

He meets your eyes and gives you the most genuine smile you’ve ever seen on him.

‘You came,’ he says.

Tears well up in his eyes. You can’t imagine how hard the last day must have been for him to show emotion like this. Of course, if he was hung up like that the whole time and with those injuries, he might just be in pain. He’s looking at you desperately, like he really didn’t think you’d come, like you’re everything. You don’t know how to respond to that. 

‘Fuck,’ he says. ‘Now I guess I have to go to church.’

You laugh. You’re hardly a miracle. He smiles at you through his tears. He doesn’t bother to brush them away. 

God, you’re falling for your fiance, how embarrassing is that? You love his daughter and you have a ridiculous crush on him and ...

‘I missed you so much, Jake.’

You freeze.

You haven’t released your psionics.

You’re the worst person to have ever existed. You force yourself to breathe deeply so you can drop the disguise, even as you start to shake with remorse. You clench your eyes shut as you feel the tingle of psychic energy dance over your skin and fade. 

You can’t look at him.

You can’t look at the man you just tricked into thinking his husband was alive.

‘No,’ he whispers.

Your chest aches, you’re not sure how much is your empathic abilities and how much is just plain self-hatred, but it hurts worse than anything you’ve ever experienced. And you’re not even looking at him, because you’re a coward.

You force your eyes open, feel your tears spill onto your cheeks and look at Dirk.

You were expecting to see hatred, worse than when you asked him to give you Rose, worse than when you told Feferi you were leaving her for Gamzee, worse than any hatred you’ve inspired before, but his face is perfectly blank. If you couldn’t see the rise and fall of his chest, you would think he was dead.

You stare at him in horror as he calmly sits up, not putting any pressure on his bandaged hands after a first attempt. He touches his face where the bandage is and runs his fingers through his hair. His expression doesn’t change.

Rose stirs on your lap and you immediately look down at her.

‘Rose,’ you whisper.

‘This one’s waking up, too,’ Terezi says, her voice strangely subdued.

You look over to see her crouching by Dave’s head. She grimaces at you sympathetically. 

‘Dad?’ Rose murmurs and for a horrifying moment you think you’ve fucked up again, but her eyes aren’t open. She’s just waking up from a bad experience. Of course she wants her dad. 

‘It’s me, princess,’ you say.

She cracks her eyes slowly, as if it hurts. 

‘Poptart,’ she says, smiling. 

Dave groans and you watch Terezi help him sit up.

‘Bro,’ he says, and then he’s scrambling up and Terezi has to place her hand on his chest to keep him still.

‘Take it easy, cool kid,’ she says. ‘Your Bro’s fine. Poptart and I saved the day.’

‘Terezi,’ you sigh. You've endured a lot of nicknames, but this one makes the least sense to you.

You watch as Dave takes in Dirk’s appearance, his bandages and blood, his expression and posture. He gives Rose a similar look over.

‘Why is no one else waking up?’ Terezi asks.

No one answers her. 

Rose plays with the frayed cotton on your wrist. She’ll need to make you a new friendship bracelet. It was looking pretty ratty  _ before  _ you got covered in blood.

‘Fuck!’ you say. ‘The mirror! They’ll be frantic ...’

You pull the mirror out of your sylladex and stare at it. You finally find a button that activates it when Rose points it out to you. She rubs at her arms and leans on you so she can look, too.

Your entire clade is on the other side, all on top of one another in Feferi’s office. Your pusher aches to see them, all of them so fucking pitiable.

‘Karcrab! What happened?’

‘Everything’s fine. We could use an extraction, though. We won’t all fit on Terezi’s dad.’

‘On it,’ Eridan cries, before running out of the room. 

‘You don’t know where they are, idiot!’ Vriska shouts after him, before running out as well.

You don’t point out that she doesn’t know, either. Everyone is already looking plenty exasperated.

‘Feferi …’ you say.

You don’t know how to tell her everything, that somehow a rebel group is powerful enough to execute such a perfectly timed attack (on Dirk Strider, how the fuck did they catch  _ Dirk _ ?) and their excuses were so flimsy, but Terezi didn’t call them out for lying. You’re worried about your powers not being strong enough, about the possibility of another war, about the future of Prospit. About what Dirk will do when you get him home.

‘I’m coming,’ she says. She grabs Sollux’s hand and you see her wave her free hand as she walks from the room and the mirror turns back into a normal mirror again. 

Rose struggles to get out of your lap and you let her go. She crawls over to Dirk and sits by him. He doesn’t respond.

‘Will you let me up?’ Dave asks, which is very polite for him. 

Terezi cackles. You give her a stern look and she scoots over to you and leaves Dave be.

Dave manages to find his feet and staggers over to Dirk and Rose. He sits clumsily down and Rose threads their fingers together.

‘You okay?’ he asks her.

‘Thirsty,’ she says.

‘Fuck. Sorry,’ you say. You pull out bottled water from your sylladex and pass it to them. Dave and Rose drink desperately, but Dirk just sits there, completely expressionless.

‘Bro,’ Dave says. ‘You should drink something.’

Dirk drinks a mouthful of water and tips some over his face as well. You quickly look away. You don’t want him to see the pity on your face.

You decide to check on John and Jade. Terezi joins you as you touch your fingers to Jade’s neck as if you can’t feel her heartbeat with your powers. You just want something to do. You hate adrenaline come down. You want Gamzee.

‘You’re at a crossroads, Karkat,’ she says quietly. ‘I can  _ feel _ it.’

You balance on your toes and stare at her.

‘Flip a coin for me,’ you say.

‘You don’t even know the options.’

‘One of me will choose right.’

Terezi growls.

‘Woah,’ Dave says. ‘Do it again.’

Rose laughs. She was just as fascinated by troll sounds when she first moved to the palace. You ignore them both.

‘Terezi, look where we are. Feferi will be here any second, Sollux is fast.’

‘That’s the  _ point! _ Karkat, you have to choose now, choose before they get here. Your family or your clade.’

You press your hands to your mouth as if that will stop the growl building in your chest.

‘That’s not a fucking choice,’ you snarl through your fingers.

She grabs you by the horn and keeps you close. You have to drop your hands to the ground so you don’t fall over.

‘She’ll make you take out their whole world,’ she whispers.

Your growls grow louder, but this time you don’t resist them. Maybe they’ll cover the sound of Terezi’s voice.

‘Think about it Karkat. Think about what happened today.  _ You weren’t taken _ . I don’t know what the right answer is, but I’m seriously considering an extended holiday with my girls. I don't know if I can do it again ... Shit’s about to go down. Are you hero enough to deal with it?’

‘I’m not a hero, Rez,’ you whisper. Your voice comes out distorted.

‘Then we’re doomed, because you’re at the centre of this, you ridiculous boy.’

She shoves you back and smoothly stands up in one motion. You fall on your ass. Your growls stutter and stop. She looks at the ceiling.

‘They’re here.’ She goes to Dirk, Rose and Dave.

‘Coming, Your Assorted Highnesses?’

Dave accepts her hand up and pulls Rose up himself.

‘Did you know Terezi’s dad is a dragon?’ Rose asks Dave, once more showing off her invaluable ability to ease the tension in a room.

‘Holy shit, how have you not told me that before? Rose. Why do I even fucking write to you?’

‘Language,’ Dirk says.

It’s the first thing he’s said since the kids woke up. You’re not even sure that he’s touched them.

‘Sorry,’ Dave says. ‘Uh, that’s really cool, though, how does that work, Miss … Dragon …’

You can’t stand it anymore, you can’t make small talk, you leave the dungeon. You hope to mothergrub that Gamzee got on that ship, if ever you’ve needed your fucking moirail, it’s right fucking now. 

The ship is parked right outside and carapacians are starting to crowd around. A young one backs away at the sight of you. You’re covered in blood, mostly red, but a little blue as well. You ignore them all.

Feferi is the first off the ship, but Gamzee is right behind her. He ducks under her arm to run to you and you are so glad to see him your knees go weak before he’s even touched you. He catches you, of course he catches you. You shove your face into his neck and moan quietly. 

‘Soft boy,’ Gamzee murmurs. ‘My boy, got you, you did good.’ He strokes your hair softly.

‘Karkat,’ Feferi says gently. ‘Where is everyone?’

Gamzee snarls at her and pulls you away protectively. Your feet scrape across the ground. You don’t particularly care.

‘Dungeon. Basement. Whatever,’ you say.

‘Diamond mine, is any of this righteous red blood matter yours?’

‘I’m fine,’ you tell him.

He sweeps your legs from under you and sits down. Somehow you end up securely on his lap. His random bursts of coordination are baffling.

He pulls a face cloth from his sylladex and cleans your face gently.

‘Sit on me proper, lovebug, your war paint is messy but your Gamzee is here and we will have you looking fit for an evening with my messiahs. Oh, but you gave them much to laugh at today, my wonderful sweet thing.’

You close your eyes and let him paint you. You resisted this like a wildcat when you first got together but it soothes you now. You wouldn’t go out in it, you’re not a juggalo, but you like the feel of his fingers gentle on your cheeks. You’re right out in public now. Jesus. You apparently have no shame.

‘Look at you, all up in your wicked self,’ Gamzee hums.

‘Are you done?’ you ask.

‘Messiahs guided my touchstubs steady and true,’ he says, which probably means yes. You open your eyes. He smiles at you gently. 

‘Missed you,’ you say.

He kisses you gently on your lips. His lips come back red.

‘Did you use the blood?’ you ask, exasperated. 

‘Only the finest paints for you, my love, and no finer than those sourced by mine own fiercest.’

You stroke Gamzee’s face and he leans into your hand and smiles. He’s so gentle with you. 

‘Now, soft boy, your spade be up and coming out of that there prison any second, I want you strong and on your feet, can you up and do that for me?’

You nod. He helps you up anyway. You plant your feet and he purrs supportively, his hand resting on your hip, just under your grubscar.

‘Brother, I am not letting you into battle without me again,’ he says.

‘Good,’ you say.

Terezi comes out with Roxy in her arms, leading the group. Dave and Rose are walking of their own volition and you rush over to them. Feferi has healed Rose’s face and there’s only a tiny pink mark now. 

You pull them both in for a hug. You pat their heads awkwardly and check them over for injuries like you should have done straight away.

‘What’s up with your face, man,’ Dave says.

‘I found his true face inside him and painted it so the world would know it and fear it,’ Gamzee says. 

Ah, he’s followed you. Excellent.

‘That has to have been the creepiest fucking way you’ve ever introduced yourself to someone,’ you tell him. ‘Dave, Gamzee, Gamzee, Dave. Gamzee is my moirail.’

‘Yo,’ Dave says. ‘Rose has mentioned you.’

Gamzee pats Rose on the head.

‘We’re holding up the extraction,’ Rose says.

You look around you. Feferi is waiting at the entrance of the ship with Dirk. They both are staring at you. He has his arms crossed and his face is unreadable. Her head doesn’t even reach his shoulder and she manages to look just as imposing.

Dirk says something and she replies. You really don’t like the two of them communicating. You’re not sure why. That should be a good thing, the two leaders communicating, agreeing on something from the looks of it. It fills you with dread, though.

‘Come on, then. Gamzee, it shouldn’t have to be said, but if Dave wants to do slam poetry with you, you do not injure him, do you?’

‘I couldn’t hurt your little ones,’ Gamzee says. 

You shepherd them towards the ship. The three of them board, but Dirk puts his hand on your chest and stops you.

‘That’s a fucked up power you’ve got,’ he says.

You nod.

‘Did you kidnap us?’

You look at him with utter confusion. Did  _ you _ do this? You just  _ saved _ them.

‘Are you serious?’ you ask.

‘I mean, you didn’t leave anyone alive for me to question and you seemed to handle yourself pretty fucking well in there. It’s a reasonable question.’

You shake your head and try to walk past him. He blocks your way again. This time he keeps his fingers pressed into your chest. You have got to get your feelings under control.

‘Vantas. Karkat. You have to help me on this one.’

‘I’m not a weapon,’ you say. ‘I’m a novelist. Can you wait until we’re not nook deep in  _ apparently  _ enemy territory to start your revenge plans?’

He drops his hand from your chest but grabs your hand.

You look at him, confused. He looks back at you as if this is all completely normal, as if he hasn’t been ignoring your letters for months and as if your one moment of connection wasn’t pitch black. He pulls you onto the ship and to the bridge before you figure it out. 

There were people watching. You’re engaged. He was just presenting a united front.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was too impatient for the reunion to write the actiony stuff. Please let me know if you want Karkat and Terezi badass murder scenes and I'll write some!
> 
> Side chapter in between here and the next chapter from Sollux's POV as he pilots the ship. It's not super essential reading, but you gotta know that Sollux has eyes EVERYWHERE. https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772021/chapters/34163676


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side chapter that takes place in between this one and the last one here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14772021/chapters/34163676

Dirk doesn’t let go of your hand when you enter the bridge. Your whole clade is there, predictably. You pull your hand away and he doesn’t resist, but he does look at you like he’s surprised you did it. You cross the room to Sollux. He grins at you from his dock. It will never stop being gross.

‘Check it, KK,’ he says. ‘No hands.’

He wiggles his fingers at you as his eyes glow red and blue and the ship smoothly takes off. You barely feel it. Show off. 

‘You need to pick up Pyralspite,’ you tell him.

‘No he doesn’t!’ Terezi calls. ‘Dad flew home ages ago.’

‘Shouldn’t you be plugged in properly?’ you ask. He’s waist deep in slime with cables disappearing into his back and legs, but you’ve seen him when he’s properly installed and this isn’t it.

‘Stop fussing, I’m trying to fly the imperial spaceship, here.’ 

You huff.

‘We’re taking a slower route home, grubs, I do so like keeping all my blood where it belongs,’ he says, his voice merging with the speaker system.

You decide to leave him to it. He really needs a moirail to slow him down, but that can’t be you. You’ll bother Nepeta about his options later. You doubt anything will come of it, but you haven’t had a good gossip session with her for a while, anyway. Rose would get a kick out of that.

You go to Kanaya because she’s on the outside of the pack and she hugs you carefully.

‘Are you injured?’ she says.

‘Barely,’ you say, waving your hand.

‘You should see Feferi, there is no reason for you to be uncomfortable.’

You look over to where Feferi is. She’s talking quietly with Terezi while Vriska strokes Terezi’s hair in an obvious ploy to eavesdrop. Vriska sucks at displaying her affection, but she knows she won’t be shooed away from Terezi after what you’ve been through.

‘I’m fine,’ you say. You don’t want to face the choice Terezi says you have to make just yet. ‘How are  _ you  _ doing?’

‘I do not know what you mean by that.’

‘You haven’t even been in the same wing of the palace as Rose the whole time she’s been with us and now you’re on a ship with the lot of them.’

‘I have been busy,’ she says. 

You stare at her flatly. 

‘I am quite alright, thank you. They’d be wise to keep their distance from me, however.’

You turn your automatic impulse to pat her on the cheek into a friendly pat on the shoulder.

‘Do you want me to fetch Aradia?’

‘She’s talking to Eridan. No one wants her to stop that valuable service.’

‘Can’t Tavros do it?’

‘He appears to be babysitting your moirail for you. Have you explained to him that he cannot slam poetry at the royal children to the death?’

You groan.

‘There there,’ Kanaya says, condescendingly. ‘Are you struggling with which fire to put out first? Might I suggest dealing with the elder prince?’

Everywhere you look there is a social situation you feel you should be intervening in. But, yes, Kanaya is right, Dirk is talking to Nepeta and Equius and that is at the top of your list until more humans wake up. Despite yourself, you trust the rest of them to handle themselves somewhat.

‘Oh, it won’t be that bad,’ Kanaya says. ‘Sollux tells me you haven’t even screamed at him once.’

You correct your grimace into your neutral palace face and walk over to your fiance. 

‘I’ll just entertain myself, shall I?’ Kanaya calls to you as you leave. You roll your eyes.

‘Karkitty!’ Nepeta says when you reach them. 

Dirk raises his eyebrow. You stare at him flatly. You were victim of many nicknames before his children ever came along.

‘What are you guys talking about?’

‘I was just saying that the prince had perhaps backed the wrong conversational hoofbeast by coming to talk to us,’ Equius says. He’s clearly trying not to tower over Dirk too much, hindered by the fact that he’s fucking massive and towers over everyone. It’s so typical that he doesn’t think he’s worthy. You don’t exactly want him talking to Dirk either, but it’s fucking annoying that he thinks that, too.

‘That’s the second hoofbeast idiom you’ve dropped in the few minutes we’ve been talking,’ Dirk observes.

‘Equius really likes hoofbeasts! But he doesn’t need to bring them up in every confursation, does he?’

Equius hesitates. Nepeta glares at him.

‘... Neigh,’ he says, finally.

Dirk laughs.

Your eyebrows raise of their own volition. 

‘I really want to talk to you about hoofbeasts, it’s one of my favourite topics, but I have to talk to Karkat now. Please, I will find you again.’

Dirk places his hand on your elbow and guides you away to the corner that’s farthest away from Feferi. He doesn’t remove his hand when you’re there. You really don’t know how you’re supposed to act around him.

‘Are we cool?’ he says.

‘What?’

‘Vantas, are we cool? Your feelings haven’t fucked off because I got myself caught and looked all … weak?’

He stares at you as if this is gravely important. As if he cares.

‘You weren’t … I feel …’ Holy fuck do you not want to put yourself out there like this. Sure, you pity him more after today, but you smear your quadrants like an idiot anyway. You’ve always liked him red and black. ‘We’re cool,’ you finally say.

He squeezes your arm where he still hasn’t let you go.

‘Okay. Good. I … just had this awful feeling you wouldn’t want me anymore and I know I haven’t exactly hidden that I don’t want to marry anyone, but … Like the idea of starting over was just horrifying.’

You stare at him in disbelief. How the fuck have you come out of this, not only with him not hating you (you would hate you, you  _ do _ hate you) but with him acting like he … likes you. You’ve been hoping for this exact outcome but you just don’t see that it’s possible. It’s too easy.

His hand, just above your elbow, starts to move up your arm. He cradles the back of your neck and pulls you in for a kiss. Your brain short circuits. You kiss him back automatically, but your brain isn’t processing what all of this means. He’s kissing you gently, he’s checking in on your feelings, he’s speaking to you  _ nicely _ .

And all you can think is that Rose is only 12 and she learned her cunning from somewhere. You have never trusted Dirk less.

Still, your friends are all conniving bastards. You’re not new at being manipulated. You know sometimes the only thing you can do is go along with it until the reason becomes clear.

(If your stupid heart could catch up with your brain and start thinking about this logically, that would be fan-fucking-tastic.)

‘And, um, thanks. For coming for us.’

You nod dumbly.

‘Someone come unplug me,’ Sollux says over the speakers.

‘I should do that,’ you tell Dirk.

He follows you.

‘Aren’t he and the empress a thing?’

‘He’s her matesprit, yeah. She seems busy though. He doesn’t have a moirail, even though he fucking needs one.’

‘Rose mentioned you fill the gaps in everyone’s quadrants.’

You bite your tongue against a very angry retort. 

‘Thanks, KK,’ Sollux says when you reach him. ‘If you get the spine ones I can get my legs free.’

‘I can do it,’ you tell him.

‘How does it work?’ Dirk asks, inspecting the cable you pulled from the back of Sollux’s neck and immediately dropped. You don’t like touching them much.

‘They hook into my central nervous system and enhance my psionics. The ship feels like my body.’ Sollux giggles manically. ‘You’re inside me right now.  _ I’m _ inside me right now.’

‘You went too fast, didn’t you?’ you say.

‘No one’s as fast as me,’ he says.

You groan.

‘You know my moirallegiance is fucking serendipitous, don’t you? I can’t flip pale and look after you.’

‘Like I’d pap you,’ he giggles. ‘Ooh, wait, Karkat, don’t!’

You pause, your fingers on the last cord at the base of his spine. His eyes are staring blankly without seeing.

‘It’s okay, Karkat rescued you. You’re on a Prospit ship. Follow the lights and you’ll find everyone.’ Sollux blinks and he grins at you. ‘People are walking inside of me,’ he whispers.

‘They’re awake,’ Dirk breathes, and he turns and leaves.

‘We can find them without your weird ship stuff. I’m going to unplug you.’

Sollux pouts. He hates the crash after being hooked up. He hates feeling for parts he doesn’t have anymore, the energy drop, the way he has to eat and sleep and recover. You pull the last cable out and he sits down dejectedly on the floor. His legs still covered in slime and electronics and whatever else was in there. 

You really don’t want to put your hands in there, but you don’t see who else is going to do it. You crouch down and glare at his legs.

‘This is so gross,’ you complain.

‘I got it, Karkat, jeez,’ Sollux says. ‘It’s like I’m Tyalla Portat today.’ He screws his eyes up and red and blue sparks dance over his legs. All the wormy things recoil away, leaving little spots of mustard blood.

‘I really don’t need to hear your taste in porn,’ you say.

‘You recognised his name,’ Sollux says with a weak grin. 

You want to pick him up and carry him inside and then force him to take a bath and eat some plain toast. He may have a point. That’s pretty fucking pale.

‘Gamzee?’ you call.

Gamzee is at your side in seconds, and knowing him he left his conversation mid-sentence.

‘Can you carry Sollux for me?’

‘Bluh, no, I can walk,’ Sollux says.

‘Of course, best friend,’ Gamzee says. ‘What is even the point of these wicked long arms if I don’t occasionally use them to put friends all up in them.’

You smirk at Sollux’s dismayed face. No one ever accuses Gamzee of getting pale with them. He just has no boundaries. Gamzee hefts Sollux into his arms and flicks one of his horns affectionately. Sollux zaps his finger. Gamzee doesn’t appear to notice.

You lead the way off the ship.

‘That little fucker has some righteous rhymes,’ Gamzee says. ‘But he does not embrace the messiahs. I have asked our Rose to help me educate him.’

‘Gamzee, I told you, Rose is not a juggalo, she’s never going to be a juggalo.’

Gamzee smiles gently in a way that is not at all reassuring. You might need to stop leaving Rose with him when you can’t take her with you places. And falling asleep in your pile and leaving them to talk. And perhaps you just need to stop letting Gamzee talk to anyone ever as well.

‘Where are you going?’ you ask Gamzee when he turns left instead of right.

‘To Feferi’s reception room,’ he says.

‘But … he’s  _ fucked _ . He needs …’

‘KK, I’m not missing out on this! I can walk, anyway!’

‘Aw, you’re my palest’s best motherfucking friend, it’s upright miraculous that you’re all up in my arms, I ain’t letting you down just yet.’

You decide that Sollux can come and hang out with people. Because he seems fine, not because you find his discomfort with Gamzee funny. 

Everyone’s already arranged themselves in little mini clades by the time you enter the room. You hesitate, a bit overwhelmed by all the people, but Gamzee doesn’t, settling himself on the floor next to a couch with Sollux still in his arms. Sollux tries to squirm away, but Gamzee holds him close to his chest. You sit on the entirely vacant couch next to them and pat Sollux on the head condescendingly.

‘Right, now we’re all here!’ Feferi says, standing up. ‘Obviously, we will be investigating the events of today  _ very _ closely! But I think that we need more information before we can glub about any of that. So, what I want us to decide now, is how are we going to prevent any future attacks? Because everyone in this room could be a potential target, and some of us are more vulnerable than others. Suggestions?’

Everyone is quiet for a moment, seemingly not wanting to be the first one to speak.

‘Well I think this proves that keeping us separated is bullshit,’ Dave says.

‘Dave,’ Dirk says.

‘No, but it does,’ he says. ‘That’s why you spread us out, right, so we would be safer, but it did diddly squat actually and we might as well actually live with our siblings.’

‘Yeah!’ John says. ‘If we were all together then we would have four times the amount of people watching over us, too, right?’

‘Thank you for your input,’ Dirk says. ‘Now shut up.’

‘Well, if it makes a difference, I’m not leaving the palace,’ Rose says cooly.

‘That was a blanket shut up for all four of you,’ Dirk says. ‘I shouldn’t have to explain that our security isn’t going to be decided by a bunch of twelve-year-olds.’

‘I don’t care what you decide, I’m staying here.’

‘Rose, darling,’ Feferi says. ‘You were ganked from right under our noses. We have to consider this properly.’

Rose stands up and crosses her arms.

‘I have been basically everywhere Poptart has been for the last three months. I’ve been in strategy meetings, at formal dinners, I’ve even been in the room for half his piles with his moirail. Do you think I have learned nothing? Certainly none of you have guarded your secrets while I’ve been in the room, but do you think that just because I’m young and short that means I haven’t remembered them?’ She meets Feferi’s eyes with a confidence you can’t help but be impressed by. ‘I’m staying.’

She sits down neatly in her chair and cocks her head slightly to the side as if waiting to see if Feferi has a response.

Vriska laughs approvingly.

‘Man! I thought you were boring, kid! I’ve been missing out!’

‘Little one, you are clade with us. Would you really betray us out of spite?’ Gamzee says.

‘No,’ Rose says, turning to meet his eyes. ‘But I won’t be treated as powerless.’

Gamzee honks agreeably. Probably makes sense to his stupid highblood sensibilities.

Rose looks at you and you shrug at her. You would have just asked nicely. Or shouted, whatever. She looks away quickly, as if guilty. 

‘Right,’ Feferi says. ‘Apparently we’re keeping Rose. Unless you want to put your fatherly foot down, Dirk?’

‘Actually, I agree,’ he says. ‘Rose belongs here. The general opinion of Prospit has only increased since we’ve seen how easily you’ve accepted her. I assume you have similar reports on Derse?’

‘Anti-human sentiment has decreased somewhat, yes,’ Equius says. 

‘Perhaps we should all move in. Show a united front. That or we swap. Rose, would you come back home if Karkat moved in?’ Dirk asks politely. 

‘Yes,’ she says, without hesitation.

Your pusher aches a little. She blackmailed the Empress of all trolls on your behalf, then.

‘That would be more comfortable for me. I can help my father rule Derse much more effectively from our capital.’

You wrap your fingers subtly around Gamzee’s horn.

‘Is this an exclusive invitation or could I bring some of my clade? We never discussed …’

‘The more the merrier,’ Dirk says. ‘Or rather, the more the more effective. For displaying a united front, that is.’

‘Eridan and I are still going to Skaia, right?’ Vriska says.

‘Yes,’ Feferi says.

‘So Tavros and Gamzee might as well go, too.’

Eridan makes a small growly noise.

‘Oh, come on!’ Vriska says. ‘You weren’t gonna be able to bring your cripple of a moirail with us!’

Eridan’s growl becomes a lot more pitch.

‘ _ No _ ,’ you say sternly. ‘Cut that the fuck out, right now.’

Eridan coughs and his growling stops. Tavros pats his hand.

Dirk looks at you with a mixture of confusion and amusement. You roll your eyes at him.

‘We get to come home?’ Jade says.

Dirk looks at her with pained eyes. 

‘Yeah, sounds like.’ He pats her hand awkwardly. 

‘Okay, well, that’s the most important question sorted then. Dirk, we need to discuss security. Everyone else, go do whatever. Karkat, look after the humans? Equius, where are you going, you’re my security guy, obviously I meant you should stay, too.’

You sigh and get to your feet. 

Rose walks over to you and takes her usual position by your right side. You rest your hand on her shoulder automatically. 

‘Gamzee, can you look after Sollux?’

‘That I can do, palest mine.’

Sollux grimaces at you from Gamzee’s arms but doesn’t resist otherwise. 

‘I think we should show them the library,’ Rose says to you. You really shouldn’t be surprised that she wants to show off to her family how well she knows the place. 

‘Dude, we’re in troll court, show us something trolly, we can see books anywhere.’

Rose grins at Dave.

‘The library is exceptionally trolly,’ she promises. 

You let her lead the way out of the room. 


	9. Chapter 9

As Gamzee walks away, Sollux thrown over his shoulder, you close your eyes and allow yourself to feel all the fear and concern you have for Sollux. You fret about the possibility of Feferi or anyone waking him up before he’s ready, of Sollux pushing himself too hard, too soon. You seriously consider whether he would be able to bounce back from that, he’s come so close to working himself to death before. When you open your eyes, Gamzee has frozen in place down the corridor and is looking back at you. You meet his eyes and he nods, solemnly. Being able to communicate your fears without actually having to  _ communicate your fears _ is fucking rad.

Rose tugs on your hand and you focus back on shepherding the humans. You seem to have a few straggler trolls as well. Terezi and Tavros have the unmistakably awkward looks of people have just seen their moirails getting concupiscent. You don’t envy them at all. 

Nepeta is trying not to be too obvious about scoping out the new humans and failing. The man you now know is called Bec looks distinctly uncomfortable at her closeness. Aradia is chewing her lip as she watches Kanaya stalk away. You didn’t think Kanaya would be sticking around. You guess they’re pale for the moment. That’s not the look someone gives their kismesis. 

‘Come on then, the library is as good a place as any to hide out for a while,’ you say. 

You just about jump out of your skin when Jade grabs your spare hand, but you smile at her reassuringly to compensate for it and okay, looks like that’s a thing that is happening. John and Dave are trying to trip each other as they walk. They’re clearly used to the game because neither of them is falling, but they are getting in everyone else’s way. 

‘Boys,’ Jane says sternly. 

John smiles sheepishly and Dave succeeds at tripping him while he isn’t looking. You let go of Rose’s hand to grab him by the scruff of his shirt before he faceplants. 

‘Thanks, Poptart!’ John says. 

You sigh and let go of him. Rose reclaims your hand immediately. You’re in danger of being suffocated. It would be nice if you could pretend you didn’t love it, but you can feel a purr building in your chest. It won’t stay silent for long, not when you were so fucking worried and now you’ve fought for your family and because you spilt blood they are here, safe, with you. Best feeling a troll ever gets, even if the family part isn’t necessarily by the book.

Rose throws the library doors open dramatically when you get there. 

‘It’s dark,’ John says.

‘Duh,’ Terezi says.

‘How are you supposed to read in here?’ Jane asks curiously.

‘It has to be dark and cold for the grubs,’ Rose says. She keeps her voice low and dramatic and is grinning at her audience. ‘And quiet, you don’t want to wake them up if you aren’t going to use them.’

Jade squeezes your hand and jumps up and down a bit. 

‘There’s no windows and just the one door,’ you say. ‘It’s kind of the perfect place to hang out for a while. Okay, keep the doors shut, everyone. Nepeta, want to come with me and get some supplies?’

‘I’ll come too,’ Jane says. ‘Our sylladexes were emptied, I’ll feel a lot better when I don’t have a gaping strife specibus.’

All the humans start to talk at once. You look at your clade desperately, but Terezi is already wheeling Tavros to the back of the library. Nepeta and Aradia at least are hanging around, but neither seem motivated to help you. If anything, they look happy about all the chatter happening.

‘SHUT UP!’ you yell. ‘WHAT DID ROSE  _ JUST _ SAY ABOUT NOT DISTURBING THE GRUBS? WE DON’T MAKE LOUD NOISES IN THE LIBRARY! KEEP YOUR BULGE HOLSTERS  _ CLOSED!’ _

They do. You hear the faint skree of grubs waking up and decide that Tavros can deal with that.

‘We’ll go to the armory and replace your weapons, okay?’ you say at a much more moderate tone of voice.

You lead the way out of the library. You hear the lock click behind you and know that Terezi is securing it. It makes you feel better. 

You manage to make it to the armory in relative quiet as everyone listens to Aradia tell the story of the insurgence your clade pulled that got stalled when Her Imperious Condescension locked herself in that very library. She sounds a bit too cheery when she describes what you remember as an exhausting and bloody 48 hours. More guards kept coming at you from all sides and it took Sollux  _ forever _ to hack into the door when he kept having to stop to save your asses. In the end, Equius finally got done with his secret mission wherever the hell he was and punched the doors down. The psionic resistant doors were no match to the sheer force of his mutant strength.

‘And then Feferi stabbed HIC in the throat with her trident!’ Aradia finishes as you usher the last human into the armory. 

‘Cool,’ Dave says, appreciatively. 

‘And you used to make fun of me for using tridentkind!’ Jane says to Roxy. 

You point wordlessly at the tridents. There’s a large selection because not many trolls want to use the same weapon as the empress and the empire gets them gifted pretty frequently. Jane picks a rather plain one, but spins it in her hand with confidence before equipping it. 

Nepeta and Aradia are helping Jade and Rose, so you take the boys to the sword section. You assume that’s what they’ve been training in. You have to stop Dave from taking the gaudiest piece of shit available.

‘Poptart, I’d slay with pure style,’ he says.

‘You can’t even lift it,’ you point out. 

‘I can’t believe you’re doubting my swole human muscles.’

‘Yeah, Poptart,’ John says. ‘Are you seriously doubting Dave’s primo grade human beef?’

‘My hunk of manmeat?’

‘SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU TINY FLAKES OF SCABBING OVER FLESH. YOU’RE MAKING EVERYTHING WEIRD, JUST CHOOSE A FUCKING SWORD!’

The room suddenly goes dead quiet.

‘Karkat Vantas!’ Roxy says, waggling her finger at you. 

Jane crosses the room and claps her hand on your shoulder.

‘Choose a fucking sword,’ she says to Dave, completely deadpan. 

You look at Jane, baffled, and she smiles back at you. She’s John’s guardian. You have a feeling she more than sympathises with your outburst.

Dave chooses a sword. You make sure he can use it and then look at John expectantly. He frowns at the selection.

‘Do I  _ have _ to choose a sword?’ he says.

‘Is that what you usually use?’ you ask.

‘I don’t really strife much,’ he mumbles. 

You have the feeling that John and Dave are being raised very differently. There’s only a few months difference between them, but John is clearly the baby of the family. You look around the room. Everyone else has chosen their weapons and looks ready to go. 

‘You guys go ahead,’ you say. ‘John and I will finish up here and then grab some snacks on our way back.’ You were wanting to have some alone time with John and Jade anyway. This wasn’t how you were imagining meeting them for the first time. 

Everyone leaves the room. 

You look back at John. He looks at you like he thinks he’s in trouble, hunched over and his mouth a worried line.

‘Hit me,’ you tell him.

‘What?’ he says.

‘Show me how you throw a punch and I’ll be able to at least narrow down the options from all the weapons to half the weapons. I’m tough, John, hit me.’

He gives you an uncertain smile and then pulls his fists up to a proper boxer’s stance. You’re impressed that he knows how to make a fist properly and guard himself seeing as he apparently hasn’t put any consideration into his strife specibus. You decide to take your own stance up. He presses his glasses further onto his nose and his brow furrows with concentration. 

He rocks back and then launches his whole weight into the punch. You let the hit land and rub your arm, kind of impressed.

‘Sorry!’ he says.

‘You muppet,’ you say. ‘You ridiculous turd-monkey. Never apologise for hitting someone. Hit or do not hit, you fucking commit, okay? And you just committed like a motherfucking boss, do not take that back.’

John smiles nervously, like he’s unsure. You put your hand gently on his shoulder.

‘Good job,’ you say.’

He beams.

It takes you over half an hour to choose him a weapon. You try a fucking morningstar before you figure out that he’s a hammerkind man. You give him a small one, barely bigger than the kind used in building to begin with. If he swings it as hard as he punched you, he can do some damage. Better that than tripping over something ridiculous. He accepts this pretty easily, though you do catch him looking at the legendary level hammer with reverence.

‘Okay, food,’ you say. ‘Good thing I brought you, actually. Rose says I’m terrible at choosing human appropriate food.’

‘What’s different about troll food?’ John asks. He bounces on his feet as he walks. You don’t think his heels ever touch the ground. 

‘We eat insects, for starters. I know humans sometimes do that, but not in your family. We like our food spicier and crunchier in general.’

‘I can eat pretty spicy food,’ John says. ‘Spicier than the rest of them. Rose has to add cream to  _ everything _ , she’s so lame. I used to eat spicy stuff with Dad. I was the best at it.’

‘You can try some troll food if you like. We’re pretty similar, so it’s a matter of taste, not safety.’

You pass a servant and John scoots a bit closer to you. You have to stop yourself from growling territorially. You settle for glaring. Your face naturally rests in a glarey way, anyway. 

‘Are you definitely going to marry Bro? Because everyone says you are except Bro, he hasn’t said anything. I don’t think it’s just because I ask too many questions in my letters either, because that hasn’t stopped everyone else from saying you are. Do I ask too many questions?’

You’re so glad Rose has prepared you for what human children are like. She might pretend to be a little adult most of the time, but you are still at least somewhat practiced to answering lots of questions at the same time.

‘We’re engaged, which means very, very probably, but it could always be called off without anything too bad happening. It would have to be for a very good reason, though, because we’re trying to help humans and trolls get along better by getting married and that’s important. Your Bro doesn’t want to marry me because he still loves your dad, but I think he is getting used to the idea. You ask a lot of questions, but that’s fine, so long as you don’t interrupt the answers.’

John stares at you while you speak and then at the ground when you’re finished. He doesn’t speak for a little while, long enough that you pass several more servants and a couple of highbloods. You stare at each of them with your craziest eyes and none of them look at you or John for more than a second. 

‘Run out of questions?’ you ask after a while.

‘I met a troll boy who had makeup like you but he was an actor. You’re not an actor, though.’

‘My moirail is a juggalo and he paints my face sometimes. It’s relaxing.’

‘What’s a mwah …’

‘A moirail? Really?’ 

Has his education really been that human-focused? And besides, some humans do quadrants, something that will only get more common after your high profile interspecies marriage you have no doubt.

‘I’m not stupid, I just don’t know,’ John says sulkily.

‘I didn’t … I was just surprised. It’s actually something I like to talk a lot about. Hold on.’

You walk into the kitchen. Several servants rush from the room and the ones that remain bare their throats submissively. You frown at them. You aren’t that important, you’re here all the time. Comes with the territory of being with Gamzee.

Oh. You were less than kind last time you were here. Fuck. Only a spongedead idiot pisses off the people serving them. 

‘Xeckra,’ you say, calling to an oliveblood who you’ve gotten along well with in the past. She comes up to you, chin still a bit high for your liking. ‘This is John, Prince Dirk’s son. We’re having a picnic with the other humans and some of my clade. Would you mind making some human friendly stuff up for us, please?’ You try and make your voice as nice as possible.

Xeckra smiles at you and gestures at a couple of nearby servants. They get to work and she stays with you.

‘It’s nice to meet you, John,’ she says. ‘You’re Rose’s hatchmate, aren’t you?’

‘Yes, ma’am,’ he says.

‘Xeckra, could you please apologise to everyone about how I was, earlier? I was a shameful, whining fuckballoon and …’

‘Karkat, it’s fine,’ she says, holding her hand up. ‘I was a little wild myself when I heard our Rose was missing. Everyone was. Humans are total palebait.’ She leans in a little closer. ‘There’s a human girl in town, she plays the four-stringed instrument. Loshti and Barkos broke up over her.’

You feel your eyes go wide. Loshti and Barkos have been together for over a sweep! 

‘What did the human do?’ you ask urgently.

‘Nothing! She says she’s just passing by! Willing to fill a you-know-what on the side, though, just won’t commit!’

‘Does Nepeta know?’ you ask.

‘Don’t think so, it only happened three days ago. Don’t spread it around too much, will you? My auspice is already  _ this _ close to intervening and you know I can’t do without her.’

John starts to wander away and you grab his collar on reflex and drag him back. You suppose without knowing anyone involved this amazing gossip would be boring for him. 

Xeckra smiles at you again, this time much more normally, and goes to help get the food ready. You see a yellowblood lean in and whisper to her. You resign yourself to being gossip fodder for a few days. 

‘What’s that?’ John says, pointing to a protein grinder.

‘It makes bugs into paste. They’re making so much food ...’

‘I’ll help you carry it. My sylladex is empty!’

‘What modus do you use?’

‘I dunno.’

You literally just reassured John that you don’t think he’s an idiot. He doesn’t know you well enough for you to go back on that statement as quickly as you usually do. That thought makes you think about Sollux. You hope he’s sleeping.

You and John arrange the food in your sylladexes without too much fuss. On the way back to the library you explain moirails and then the rest of the quadrants to him. Your current draft includes humans and so you’re getting pretty good at explaining this shit. And you do very much like to talk about it. You’re about 30% sure that John is listening.

‘How come you’re engaged to Bro when you already have a moor-rail?’

‘Moirail, and different quadrant. Gamzee and Dirk are both fine with it.’

You don’t mention the fact that you think you’ll fucking need a moirail to get through dealing with his Bro. Every time you see him Gamzee has to pick up the pieces of your stupid pan. You’re looking forward to a proper pile once you’re off grubsitting duty.

You have to knock on the library door when you get there.

‘Who is it?’ Terezi calls.

‘Karkat and John,’ you say.

‘Prove it!’

‘How in the fuck are we supposed to prove that? Can’t you smell us through the door? Do you not know my voice well enough?’

‘Answer me these questions three!’

‘Ooh!’ John says.

‘LET US IN YOU VACUOUS GRUBFUCKING PIMPLESQUEEZER!’

‘What is my favourite colour?’

You sigh and headbutt the door. You’re seriously reconsidering her suggestion to flip pitch.

‘Red.’

‘Correct!’

‘Good job, Poptart!’

‘What is my quirk based on?’

‘The numerals of the blind prophets. This is so stupid I think I’m going to die.’

‘Correct!’ 

You hear a sound you know disturbingly well. The sound of a coin being dropped on a tiled floor.

‘Good head or bad head?’

‘HOW COULD I POSSIBLY KNOW THAT? PYROPE, I’M GOING TO CLAW YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF. WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE INSIDE THE SAFE DEFENSIBLE LIBRARY, NOT MEANDERING ABOUT THE FUCKING CORRIDORS LIKE IT’S A LAZY SUNDAY AFTER-MIDNIGHT AND WE’RE KILLING TIME UNTIL DAWN COMES.’

‘Is it the good head?’ John asks.

‘Correct!’ 

Terezi opens the door and grins at you. You push her face away and storm in. She laughs and you force yourself to turn back around and grab John before she licks him or something. You wish he had horns that you could drag him by instead of his collar, but you guess this is just how you’ll have to compromise with your human children. Human friends. Humans. Fuck it. 

You pull the food you have out of your sylladex and arrange it on the table that everyone is sitting at with very little fuss. You look at John expectantly. 

‘Oh, I gotta pick something else up, then it’ll pop out.’

‘You’re using stack,’ you say.

Dave starts laughing. You palm your face with both hands and move them around a bit as if that will help. 

‘Okay, fine, people with shit in their sylladex they don’t need, hand it over,’ you say. You rifle through your sylladex. You have way too much deadly stuff in there. You hand him an empty pie tin and five honk horns. You could give him more, but Nepeta is already waggling her eyebrows at you pretty hard. Between the four of you who actually have things on you, you manage to get all the food out of his sylladex.

You sit in between Aradia and Tavros because they seem like your best bet at not shouting at anyone.

‘Sorry about waking the grubs up,’ you say to Tavros. 

‘Oh, that’s fine. They like going to sleep, anyway?’

Dave is tickling John and asking what weapon he chose. You’re fairly sure John would tell him if he could breathe. Rose is lying very convincingly to Jade about her interest in plants. You know for a fact that Rose hasn’t attempted to grow anything while she’s been here. Jane and Roxy are holding hands as they eat. Roxy looks to be struggling with her left hand, but you don’t think they’re going to be letting go for a while. Bec is plaiting Jade’s hair out of the way, presumably so it stops trying to drink her soup for her.

They’re clade. Family, whatever. And they were all separated. It makes your pusher ache to even think about being kept from your clade, even the ones you aren’t quadranted with. You knock your shoulder lightly to Aradia’s and she turns in her chair and gives you a big hug.

The only thing that stops you from purring embarrassingly loudly is a knock on the door. You meet Nepeta’s eyes and the two of you stalk to the door. She scales a pillar like that’s a thing anyone can do and hangs there, ready to drop down and attack if needed. You close your eyes and feel with your powers.

It’s Feferi, Equius and Dirk. Obviously.

You make sure that your psionics are as dampened as they ever are before opening the door. Nepeta jumps down and knocks Equius over. You just close the door and leave them to it.

‘Why the SHELL is your INSANE moirail guarding my matesprit like a fucking kraken, Karkat Vantas?’ Feferi says.

You hold your hands up.

‘I just asked him to help Sollux get to bed,’ you say. Technically the truth. 

‘APPARENTLY, Gamzee thinks that means LIE IN THE DOORWAY so that no one can get past without WAKING THE GLUBBING BARD OF RAGE!’

You love him so much. He’s so perfect. You have to work pretty hard to keep that from showing on your face. You’re not sure you’re successful.

Feferi shrieks in all her seadweller glory and it’s only the fact that it was your job to calm her down for sweeps that keeps you on your feet rather than cowering. Equius and Nepeta have disappeared and even Dirk takes a step backwards.

‘I’m sorry he’s such an idiot,’ you say carefully. ‘But Sollux needs to rest anyway, you know what he’s like.’

‘I KNOW HE WAS DEFINITELY TAPPING INTO THEIR SECURITY SYSTEM AND I NEED THAT DATA!’

‘So you’re after your helmsman, not your matesprit!’ you say, starting to get frustrated yourself. 

Feferi just growls at you.

‘YOU WAKE HIM UP RIGHT NOW, MISTER!’

‘IS THAT A FUCKING  _ ORDER _ , EMPRESS? NO ONE EXCEPT ME  _ CAN  _ WAKE HIM, CAN THEY? NOT WITHOUT GETTING THEIR PAN SCRAMBLED LIKE MOTHERFUCKING EGGS. SOLLUX WOULD  _ KILL HIMSELF _ FOR YOU, HE BARELY MADE IT OUT OF THE WAR, LEAVE IT THE FUCK ALONE UNTIL TOMORROW.’

Feferi grabs you by the throat and slams you into the door so quickly you can’t do anything about it. Not that you really could even if you had time to react. Shouting at your friend is one thing, drawing a weapon on the empress would get you culled. She hisses at you and bares all her teeth. You kick your feet uselessly.

You hear the shift in her growls and panic even more. You cannot do pitch with her. You can’t. Ignoring your secret human kismesis literally only feet away from you, ignoring the very violent death Kanaya would give you for not clearing it with her first, there’s a reason you ended things that way. This would throw your whole clade into chaos. 

You need a motherfucking auspice, you need an auspice, who the fuck would dare auspice Feferi, this was half the fucking problem last time.

You scrabble at her wrists, trying to make her drop you. You’ve got a hell of a pair of bellowsacs, but there’s a limit to how long you can hold your breath and you’re starting to reach it. And it really fucking hurts to have all your weight supported by your neck.

‘Empress,’ Dirk says hesitantly.

Feferi turns and screeches at him. Her pupils are massive in her eyes and her teeth are full out. Dirk falls silent.

You’re actually going to pass out if she holds you for much longer. You writhe desperately and she drops you to the ground. You gasp for air and try to regain some level of composure. Red tears drop to the ground underneath you. Fuck. You think your neck is bleeding, too, from where her claws dug in.

‘Make a choice, Karkat,’ Feferi says, her voice cold.

You know the choice. Distract her or obey her. You struggle to find your feet with shaking limbs. 

‘Aradia,’ you gasp. Your voice is fucked.

‘Aradia,’ Dirk calls. Oh shit. That’s actually nice.

Aradia approaches tentatively. You stagger over to her and she supports your weight automatically. 

‘We’d fuck up the clade if we went pitch,’ you try to say. It doesn’t all come out.

Aradia’s face turns burgundy from the absolute brazenness of your proposition. Feferi snarls. 

‘Kanaya’s in her room,’ Aradia says. ‘Get that out of your system and come find me. We need a proper pile.’

Feferi swings her hand, claws curled menacingly, but Aradia ducks and drags you with her. Feferi stalks from the room.

‘Thank you,’ you whisper.

She pinches your cheek. You’d resent it more if she hadn’t just saved your butt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The shipping grid gets more complicated!


	10. Chapter 10

When Feferi leaves the room you slump a little more into Aradia’s arms. She’s strong enough to cope with it. 

‘Aw,’ she says. ‘Soft and warm as fresh ash, aren’t you? I’ll keep the fire out, don’t you worry.’

‘’Radia,’ you protest. God, that’s embarrassing. You might have come on strong but this is …

‘Pssh, Prince Dirk doesn’t mind! Do you, highness? You can see what a pretty greygrub Karkat is, can’t you?’

You groan.

‘Sure,’ he says. He sounds respectably non-committal. ‘Can I steal him for a bit? Or is that … Do you need time to … auspice?’

Aradia shifts your weight slightly to remind you that you’re not really holding yourself up at all. Is she allowing you to make the choice so you don’t show any weakness to him? How much has she guessed?

‘We should wait for Feferi to be done,’ you say, finding your feet underneath you. God, your voice sounds awful. You do not recommend being strangled by the strongest troll in the empire. You carefully take your arm away from Aradia and thumb at her curly horn affectionately. She grins at you.

‘I’m going to gossip with Nepeta,’ she says. 

You sigh. You would really rather a gossip session with the girls to yet another confusing conversation with your fiance, especially because you don’t have Gamzee around. You assume that the psychic insulation on the library is the only reason your fear didn’t call him to you. It feels wrong that he wouldn’t feel if you needed him. But you’re glad he’s still guarding Sollux. And it’s probably best that he didn’t have to choose between you and his empress. You worry you’d come out on top.

‘Can we sit?’ you ask Dirk, your fatigue winning out over your pride.

‘Yeah, of course,’ he says. He hooks his arm around your waist and you decide that it’s quite reasonable considering how tired you are to let him support you. Empress knows you’ll have to trust him with more than just unsteady feet at some point.

He takes you to the corner you point out, the one you and Rose usually hide out in. You find the switch for the glowgrub and activate it. Natural phosphorescence lights up the alcove and Dirk’s face. He looks at the grub with wonder, lightly touching the glowing skin.

‘This doesn’t seem bright enough to read by,’ he murmurs. 

‘Not for a human,’ you agree. ‘I had to get Rose some special glasses. And the reading tablets glow as well.’

Dirk tears his gaze away and lowers you to the lumpy beanbag. He falls into it too, apparently accepting that there is no graceful way to enter or exit a beanbag. 

‘So, Sollux is a way overpowered psionic, right? And he pushed himself to those way overpowered limits to come get us?’

‘Yeah,’ you say.

It’s a little difficult to focus when apparently humans look especially delicious in low lighting. Or maybe that’s just a Dirk thing. Shadows play on his face and make his eyelashes look especially long. He looks a bit ethereal, like a rainbow drinker from one of Kanaya’s books. 

‘And … Gamzee is your moirail, why would he look after Sollux? The Empress seemed to think you put him up to it, but …’

‘I did. Sollux is still clade even if it’s been sweeps since we were quadranted. And I’ll always have a soft spot for him.’ You cough awkwardly. ‘Which is why I am not taking care of him. It’s all friendship to Gamzee. He … He’s the only troll I know who could pail someone and walk away without it affecting him at all, just business or helping a bro out or something, and he’d never had anything conciliatory until me. So if someone’s gonna look after him and not fuck up our clade, it’s him. At least until we find Sollux a proper moirail because fuck knows he needs one.’

You shove your hair back out of your face, tucking some of the longer bits behind your horns. You need a haircut really fucking soon. 

‘I don’t really want to set him up with someone outside of our weird incestuous clade but we might have to. Unless you’re in the market for a disaster of a troll as a moirail?’ you joke.

Dirk looks at you with alarm. 

‘I can’t barely look after myself,’ he says. 

You laugh at his expression and he relaxes a bit. You think Dirk’s downplaying his capabilities. He looks after the whole of Derse and he can clearly manage himself. He’d be a fine moirail. (What is wrong with you, you have Gamzee, you’re supposed to be pitch for Dirk, you should be able to contemplate him having a pale relationship without being jealous.)

‘Okay, so you have a history with Sollux?’

You shuffle in the beanbag as if you’re getting closer to him. Really it means you can’t look him in the eye without straining your neck. 

‘I kind of have a history with all of those losers,’ you say. ‘But yeah, Sollux was my first.’

‘First …’

You growl a little in protest, but your heart’s not in it.

‘First everything, we were moirails and then we were kismeses and then matesprits. He’s my best friend and I don’t know what I would do if he exploded his brain being an idiot show off.’

You jump a little at the feeling of Dirk moving next to you, but he’s just threading his fingers through yours. His skin is warm. It’s nice. The purr you’ve been suppressing since you found them mostly safe in the basement rumbles through your chest. Dirk touches the fingers of his free hand to your sternum. He can feel it and hear it. 

You wonder if he can tell the differences in pitch like a troll could. It wouldn’t exactly help in this case, your purr is rolling through your range like you’re doing scales or something. Apparently your body is just as confused as your mind. In some ways that’s a relief. You like to think you know yourself pretty well.

‘Jake was my first everything, too,’ he whispers. ‘Met him when we were 16 and my father had been hinting for long enough that we were probably going to have an arranged marriage, there wasn’t really any other option for me. It should have made me rebel or something but …’

He takes a big shuddery breath.

‘He was my best friend. And I swear to god I nearly swooned when I met him for the first time. He was brave and dorky and sometimes with zero warning he needed to escape from everything and hide in his workshop for two weeks and he was so good with the kids.’

You’re quiet for a bit, just sitting quietly, purring gently and feeling grateful he trusts you.  
Dirk rubs at his face and you wonder if he was crying. His breathing didn’t change at all, but it wouldn’t surprise you if he had taught himself to give as few indications as possible to his emotions. 

‘I’m still trying to get your clade straight,’ Dirk says. You smile sadly at the conversation change. You hope just listening was okay.

‘I can draw you a diagram if you want,’ you offer. ‘But basically, Gamzee and I are pale, Gamzee and Tavros are flushed, Tavros and Eridan are pale but Eridan is going on a mission with Vriska, his kismesis, so you won’t have to see him. And you should be really fucking happy about that, by the way. Well, he’s not that bad, but still. Feferi is flush with Sollux and pitch with Kanaya, Kanaya vacillates between pitch and pale with Aradia, who is flush with Eridan and also happy to auspice me and Feferi if she has to.’

Dirk doesn’t respond for over a minute. You twist to look at his face.

‘Yeah, the diagram might be good,’ he says. ‘Jesus, and that’s just the twelve of you. Rose says you know the whole palace’s gossip.’

You don’t point out that you didn’t mention all of your clade. Just the ones you think are likely to go to Derse with him. You’re not sure if he wants the information for political reasons or for getting-to-know-you reasons but it’s all common knowledge.

‘Did you want to stay in my respiteblock tonight?’ you ask, instead. ‘No hard feelings if you’d rather … avoid domesticity or whatever.’ 

Smooth, Karkat.

‘Uh, yeah, that’d … that’d be good, I think.’

‘Do you want to go back to the others for now, then? I haven’t really talked to Jade yet and I think John probably wants to tell you about his hammer.’

Dirk is quiet for a moment, and then he shifts and suddenly he’s leaning over you. The very unromantic sound of beans shifting in the bag settles as you stare into his eyes. 

You cup your hand around his neck and pull him down to kiss you. In the split second before he kisses you back, you freak out and question where the fuck you suddenly got confidence from. But then his tongue is in your mouth and you’re having to bite back a needy moan, reminding yourself forcefully that you’re in a library and you’re not alone. 

Okay, that’s not actually a helpful thought because apparently you’re into that. You push your body against his and kiss him deeper. He bites your lip and you make a tiny frustrated whine because you can’t bite him back. 

There’s a small sound and Dirk rolls off you, attempts to stand up and falls back into the beanbag. It’s the first time you’ve seen him be anything other than graceful and you snort with amusement as you sit up to see Dave standing awkwardly at the other end of the row.

‘Sup?’ he says. ‘I can come back later. Or never. I’m gonna come back never.’

‘Dave, wait,’ you say.

Dave stops midstep to look at you sheepishly. Dirk is clearly just as uncomfortable as Dave is and is leaving the talking to you. You’re not even slightly surprised.

‘Did you want something?’ you ask. 

‘Uh, no, I was just … John wanted to know where you guys were.’

‘We’re here. Help me up? Beanbags suck.’

Dave looks awkwardly at Dirk before stepping close to you. You grab his hand and drag yourself up. You don’t put all your weight on him or anything but you make him work for it a bit. You push him over into the beanbag when you’re standing and Dirk barks out a surprised laugh.

‘Shut up,’ Dave grumbles, but his mouth is twitching with a smile.

You help him back up and think about pushing him back in immediately, but you let him be. Dirk holds his hand up too, surprisingly. You would have thought he’d be too proud. You pull him up and he pushes Dave back into the beanbag with one hand before putting his arm around your shoulders and walking you away from him. You hear the sound of him struggling to get out as you try and fail not to laugh at the outraged expression you caught before Dirk lead you away. 

He doesn’t take his arm away when you get back to the others, which causes Tavros to waggle his eyebrows at you in a way that makes you have hope for Gamzee’s ability to keep his mouth shut on occasion. Beq looks mildly surprised as well, but no one else reacts. 

You sit next to Aradia and she immediately turns to grin widely at you.

‘I’m really excited to auspice for you!’ she says.

Nepeta leans over her to paw at your arm. 

‘This has impurrcations!’

‘The clade’s stable as is,’ you say, frowning. 

‘Stable! We can do better than stable!’

You give her an incredulous look. You really don’t think you can. Your clade is a flirty look away from collapse at any given moment. (No, it’s not. You’ve been through too much. But stable is as good as any clade gets.)

‘And anyway, Sollux still needs a meowrail. I’ve been thinking and everyone else is too set in their paleness! Unless you think someone would have two meowrails!’

‘No,’ you say immediately. ‘Actually, maybe. Equius? Sollux has mentioned ...’

You’re cut off by Nepeta snarling territorially at you. You lean back in alarm, accidentally knocking into Dirk. You’d move off him but Nepeta is wearing her gloves and could absolutely reach you if you were just a bit closer to her. You don’t dare look away from her to see how he’s taking it.

‘I am Nepeta’s,’ Equius says gravely. 

‘Okay, fine, I’m not suggesting we fuck up the only quadrant that’s stayed put over the years, I’m just saying …’

‘I am Nepeta’s,’ Equius repeats. 

You frown at him and then at Nepeta. She seems somewhat pacified by his unmoving loyalty, so you feel okay about relaxing back into your chair. 

‘What’s going on down here?’ Roxy asks, dropping casually into the seat next to Dirk.

‘Diplomatic restructuring?’ Dirk says.

‘We’re shipping, let’s not try and be classy about it,’ you sigh. ‘Though you’re writing my next blurb if you can sell bullshit that well.’

Roxy grins and taps her palms to the table several times excitedly.

‘Oh my god, let me in on this! I assume there’s a loose end?’

‘Sollux needs a meowrail!’ Nepeta says, her eyes shiny with enthusiasm.

Oh God, there’s the flirty look. Your clade’s doomed.

‘Actually, have we considered humans?’ you ask. ‘Are you in the market, Roxy? He’s _very_ pitiful.’

Roxy giggles and grabs Dirk’s hand. 

‘Babes, wouldn’t I be the best moirail ever? Oh shit, Janey!’ She looks behind her, but Jane is talking to Tavros on the other side of the table so she waves her hand dismissively. ‘I dunno if my girl’d be cool, we haven’t talked quadrants before.’

‘I suppose if Prince Dirk is clade as well, there’s no avoiding bringing humans in,’ Aradia muses. ‘But there’s the need for proximity as well. Sollux needs a present moirail, he can fake togetherness too well long-distance.’

You groan in agreement. 

‘And he needs to stay here because Feferi.’

You all consider that.

‘Everyone’s already pale!’ Nepeta complains. ‘And it’s working! Vriskers has shared Terezi before but she doesn’t pity Sollux _at all_!’

The trolls in the conversation shake their heads despairingly. Terezi has _strange_ pale taste. Vriska is a disaster, but she has no plans on changing that and she looks about as comfortable to pile with as a beehive. 

‘What about you or Kanaya, when you’re vacillating?’ you ask Aradia. 

Aradia blushes and glances at Dirk and Roxy before continuing. 

‘We’re settling more and more,’ she says. ‘Feferi’s …’

She doesn’t finish the sentence but you can guess how it would go. Demanding. Using Kanaya as a stress-pail. Impossible to compete with. You’d pity Kanaya yourself if you didn’t know she’s the only troll in the world capable of keeping up with Feferi and looking good doing it.

‘I’d share Gamzee, but he won’t be here and he’s—’

‘No!’ Nepeta says, wrinkling her nose. ‘He doesn’t have the attention!’

‘Why does he need a moirail so bad?’ Dirk asks. ‘I know trolls like to have your corners square, but …’

‘Not the point, not with us,’ you say. ‘Half of us never would have qualified for drone season in the first place, our quadrants have always been our own. I’m trying—the empress is trying, we all are, to encourage that attitude Prospit-wide. We’re _trying_ to reduce the need for cannon fodder, which means we can relax the slurry quota.’

‘Sollux has always treated his body like a thing he has to drag around in order to get his brain places,’ Aradia says. ‘But he’s taking it too far, has been for a while now.’ She glances towards the end of the table, where John is the only one of Dirk’s kids still remotely in earshot and lowers her voice. ‘He’s _such_ a fixer-upper. You’d need to be on him all the time, he’d probably forget to eat if there weren’t servants making it easy.’

‘He could be so much better,’ Nepeta whispers. Equius clears his throat and she puts both her hands on his forearm. ‘For someone else,’ she says with a grin. 

‘Is this confidential or something?’ Dirk asks. 

‘No, they’re just horny and trying to be subtle,’ you sigh. 

Roxy makes a noise of surprise and covers her mouth. 

‘That’s the word, right?’ you check. ‘It translates well, like horns …’ You reach up to your own self-consciously. 

‘Four horns,’ Equius murmurs, and Nepeta and Aradia giggle wildly. You manage to hold your own laughter back but you grin at Equius as a way of encouraging him to contribute more. You didn't realise he was capable of letting his gaze wander from Nepeta, it's kind of nice to feel a bit more normal.

‘Troll romance,’ Dirk says to Roxy. ‘Gotta think outside the world of dicks.’

‘Honey, your marriage is doomed,’ she replies, grinning. ‘Oh God, sorry! It’s a joke!’

‘A long running one,’ Dirk says awkwardly. 

‘’Cause dicks come easier to Dirk than romance.’

‘Pun intended?’

Roxy hits Dirk on the shoulder. He winces and rubs it. 

‘Sorry,’ Roxy whispers. ‘Mine still ache too.’

‘Feferi—’

‘We’re not trolls, Karkat,’ Roxy says. ‘It worked pretty well, considering.’

Almost as if summoned, there’s a knock on the door. You meet eyes with Aradia and she gives you what you’re sure is supposed to be a reassuring smile. Way too many teeth. You feel a stab of genuine ash for her despite the newness of your quadrant. She’s up to this challenge.

Terezi lets Feferi in and you make eye contact with Dirk briefly, unsure if you want him to see this. You're not sure you have a choice about it, either.

You push out your chair and get to your feet unsteadily. Well shit, even if you wanted to go pitch with Feferi you wouldn't feel worthy of her right now. 

But then Aradia is beside you, taking your arm and grinning at you again. You knock your horn gently into hers in gratitude.

'Whale?' Feferi says, hands on her impressive hips and chin up defiantly like she has no need to protect her neck against you. 

‘Let's simmer!’ Aradia says.


	11. Chapter 11

You end up in Aradia's room, of course. It's a neutral place, or rather a place where the power lies in your middle leaf, as it should. You haven't spent much time in Aradia's room in the past and you can't say you're too broken up about that. It's… eclectic.

'Oh my God, Karkat, stop cleaning my room with your mind!’

You bite your lip against a denial. She's not wrong. There have to be better places than her room to store some of this shit, you live in a fucking palace. 

You force yourself to drag your eyes away from her grubshelf (it would take ten minutes for you to organise it, you wouldn’t even be in the way), and instead keep your eyes on Feferi. 

Aradia's a good auspice, but she's probably not _actually_ capable of holding a seadweller off you and you're not exactly in fighting shape. Feferi never healed you and you’re _tired_. But you’re also still you, and you’re not without a few tricks.

Aradia’s pile is mostly made of bones and fabric, and plenty of the bones are actually _horns_ , which means they’re not going to break if you have to use them as a weapon. There’s a vanity with a mirror that would be easily shattered with a quick punch and you’re not above using glass. There’s _so much dirt_ , not as in the room is dirty, as in Aradia literally has containers filled with soil everywhere (and the room is fucking dirty, but if you take your dustbuster out of your sylladex you know Aradia will dump you on the spot and then where will you be) and Feferi’s gills would hate to get whatever is so special about that particular dirt in them. 

You weren’t pitch with Feferi long, but you remember her weak points and you remember that you had to be willing to fight just as low and dirty as you ever did in the war because she is just so far above what you should be able to take on and she’s incapable of holding herself back when she gets properly pissed off. (You hate that about her. You hate a lot of things about her and you _cannot_ do this again.)

Feferi’s fins are higher than usual, but they’re not quite full out, and her teeth are retracted again. She definitely got some of this bullshit out on Kanaya, but you remember what it was like when you were together. Her refractory rate is scarily short.

And then Aradia’s in your line of sight and you feel the fight go out of you as effectively as if someone had just heaped a handful of sand on a campfire. Feferi’s fins lower as Aradia reaches out and takes her hand, then yours. She pulls you closer together. 

‘You’re not going to fight,’ Aradia says, full of calm confidence. ‘There’s no reason to!’

‘He doesn’t listen,’ Feferi whines.

‘I do,’ you protest. You have to listen extra hard to find the line between actively disobeying the letter of what she tells you to do and just kind of ignoring the meaning you know is there.

Aradia’s hand goes up Feferi’s arm and around to the back of her neck before she even gets a growl out. You feel a stab of jealousy before you feel her doing the same for you. Her hand fits so well around your scruff, you can feel yourself relaxing without meaning to, even as she brings you and Feferi closer again. You’re only an Aradia width apart. You can’t seem to care enough to even check over your sylladex.

‘You challenged her, didn’t you?’ Aradia asks you.

You whine, feeling the clicks catching in the back of your throat. You can’t lie, not like this, you don’t have the fucking brain power for it. 

‘I couldn’t see a way around it,’ you say.

‘You used to be her advisor,’ Aradia says, her brow furrowing. ‘She listens to you when you need more options, you don’t need to find your own path.’

You whine again.

‘Are you not giving him choices?’ Aradia asks Feferi. ‘Are you trapping him into this?’

‘No!’ Feferi denies. ‘He doesn’t even come to me!’

Aradia looks between the two of you thoughtfully. Her thumb strokes against your neck and you feel your eyes slip closed just a bit. You blink slowly and wriggle a bit in her grasp so she doesn’t send you to sleep standing up.

‘What’s keeping you?’ Aradia asks, not stopping with her thumb. Your eyes fall all the way closed.

‘Family,’ you murmur.

Aradia’s thumb stills and you force yourself back into proper wakefulness.

‘Your priority is to them, rather than the empire,’ Aradia muses. ‘Well, that’s true for most trolls I think, if their quadrants are true enough. Had to be true for us, or we wouldn’t have rebelled in the first place, right, Fef?’

Feferi growls, but it’s rattly and higher than it should be. She can’t shake off Aradia’s pacification anymore than you can. 

‘Oh, cinderbug. You’re better than this.’

Feferi’s eyes widen in fury for a moment but due to either shame or the fact that Aradia has magic auspice hands, she drops her gaze to the floor. Her cheeks are faintly pink and you find your pusher relaxing further. You’re not in danger here. Aradia’s in control.

‘You want better loyalty than the old empress, don’t you?’ Aradia continues. ‘You think because you’re better than her you deserve to be loved better.’

Feferi shakes her head, but you don’t think she’s denying the truth. Just expressing her discomfort. 

‘That’s enough for now,’ Aradia says gently.

She takes her hand from your neck and guides Feferi into her pile and settles her. She pats her briefly on the horn before turning back to you. She smiles and you go to her willingly. She pulls you into the pile with her and puts her arms around the two of you. 

You slowly shift until you’re cuddled into her side and watch warily as Feferi does the same. You keep eye contact over Aradia’s chest, but it’s not tense like it was before. You know you’re safe. Feferi looks away long enough to kiss Aradia’s neck and you realise she’s beaten you to the manners game, which would almost be the thing to make you flip pitch regardless of the consequences if you weren’t tempered by Aradia’s calloused fingers teasing their way around your horn. 

‘Thanks, raincloud,’ you murmur.

Aradia blushes and her purrs kick in. You suppress the swell of victory you might feel and nudge your free horn against her chin affectionately instead. Your purrs start up slightly before Feferi’s, and you don’t hesitate to take her fingers in yours when she reaches out. Everything’s going to be okay.

*

You leave Aradia’s feeling exhausted, but good in a way you haven’t since Terezi was your auspice and … maybe there’s something to this thing that you’re supposed to have all four quadrants filled. Like, by different people. Not this thing with Dirk where you’ve felt them all for him. If you consider him your pitch quadrant, you’re only missing heart. 

When you try to think of who you’d want that way, your thoughts immediately go to Dirk. You’re such a fucking idiot. 

You trudge down the hallway to your room, aching for your recuperacoon. It’s been a very long day. You want to be horn deep in slime and not on your damn feet anymore.

You open your door and chirp in in alarm. Dirk’s sitting on your concupiscent platform.

‘Cool noise, bro,’ he says.

You freeze and stare at him. What’s he doing here? You’re not up for this, you’re—

Oh fuck. You asked him to be here. Fuck. _Fuck_.

‘Highness,’ you say.

He raises an eyebrow. Why is that such an attractive look on him?

‘Knight,’ he returns. 

You sigh and close the door behind you. Is it too early in the relationship to tell him you’re too tired and you just want to go to ‘coon?

‘I’m so fucking tired,’ you groan, pushing your hands into your hair.

Dirk stands up and walks up to you. He hesitates for a moment and puts his hands on your shoulders. 

‘It’s kinda been a long fuckin’ day for me too,’ Dirk says. ‘Should I clear out?’

You wobble slightly and he shifts his hands lower to your upper arms, where he can steady you. You want to lean into him but you can’t. He’s your kismesis. 

‘You can stay,’ you tell him. ‘Shit, I don’t know where to put you, can humans sleep in recuperacoons?’

Dirk looks back towards your concupiscent platform and back to you. 

‘Dude, I’ll just sleep on your bed. You should give the slime pod a rest, we can have the manliest cuddle ever.’ 

You flush bright red and a rogue chitter comes out of your chest. 

‘Damn, I am all about those alien noises. Are you okay?’

You groan and slump slightly until your face is against his shoulder. He pats your back awkwardly. 

‘Okay, bed time,’ he says. ‘You’re heavier than you look, Vantas.’

A tiny smile tugs at your lips at the compliment and you let yourself be pulled towards your concupiscent platform. You can _probably_ sleep on it, especially given how fucking tired you are. He tugs at your cape and you get your clothes off together. 

‘These pants are fuckin’ absurd,’ he tells you as you struggle to kick them off when your legs don’t feel like being all that energetic about their movements.

You don’t tell him you didn’t trust your shirt staying on in a fight and that your grubscars were a beacon to drones. You don’t tell him that your ancestor flung a pair at your face when you were just starting out and then left you to figure out that they were the best choice. You don’t tell him that Sollux checked you out for the first time in a pair just like this and your brain hasn’t let go of the idea that they flatter you since then. Instead …

‘Go rip off your ridiculous external sexual organ and gargle it,’ you say.

‘My fiance says the sweetest things,’ he says darkly.

You growl at him weakly. It makes him smile. It’s like he’s _trying_ to confuse you. You don’t think he is, though. You think he likes riling you up and he’s a human, so he doesn’t have any other way to express that satisfaction.

‘I thought you’d be too tired for that,’ he says. 

You _are_ , fuck. You stop helping him with his shirt and flop on the concupiscent platform for lack of a fucking fainting couch or whatever. You listen to the soft sound of fabric shifting, but you don’t give him the flattery of keeping an eye on him. It’s a few seconds after the noises stop (as if he’s hesitating?) that he climbs onto the platform with considerably more care than you took. You roll your head towards him.

‘Are we really sleeping on this?’ you ask him. 

‘On the bed? Yeah, I thought it might be suitable.’ He gives you a sarcastic eyebrow. You have no idea what you did to earn it. 

‘I’m not putting out,’ you grumble.

Dirk smiles again.

‘Well shit, what am I even here for? I could be in my own room not getting laid by myself!’

Fuck, he’s attractive. You don’t quite know how you mean it. He’s hard to pity like this, but you can see lines of exhaustion in his expression and he’s all soft skin and hornless. You know that doesn’t mean defenseless with your _thinking_ brain, but you’re tired as fuck and stupid enough to forget what you know. 

‘Your legs aren’t on the bed properly,’ he says.

You don’t move. Too tired. He sighs and sits up so he can drag you more onto the platform. He lies back down, and he might be even closer than before. 

‘There’s no blanket or anything,’ he says, ‘I mean, I’m not cold. It’s just weird to not have the weight, you know?’

‘What?’ you ask.

‘I think it’s something biological,’ he continues, entirely ignoring your confusion. ‘I’ve seen some hot nights, I still prefer a sheet. Or a person. Even back to back, it’s like assuring to know I have shelter or something.’

You frown at his stupid mammal face. This is what you’re marrying into. 

‘You’re making no sense,’ you tell him.

‘What do I have to say to make you cuddle me, damn,’ he says.

Your bloodpusher stumbles over his words and a rumble starts in your chest. You’re not sure what kind, your body is fucking confused, but whatever it is, Dirk sees it as an invitation to come closer. You put your arm around him almost out of reflex.

‘Is there anyway I can kiss you just a bit without … I just want … this can be pitch, right?’

No. Not like this. This is fucking flushed. He doesn’t want it and you need to tell him that. But he _does_ want it, he wants your company, he wants whatever reassurance you can give him. It’s not that bad, is it?

You lean into him and bite his lip gently, like somehow the teeth make it pitch, and he smiles against your mouth before kissing you. Your mouths move against each other lazily, and you want more than anything to be up for continuing it further, but you’re just not. You scratch half-heartedly down his back as your chest aches with pity that he needs you to fake hatred just to get affection. 

Your kisses slow down until you’re basically just holding your faces together. He licks your nose and you bare your teeth with absolutely no enthusiasm. There’s so much of your skin touching and it’s far too early in the relationship for that to feel unimportant, but you’re so fucking tired.

‘Night, Karkat,’ he murmurs. 

‘Night, asshole,’ you reply. 

You’re rewarded with another smile, even though his eyes don’t open. You kiss him gently one last time on his closed lips, and resign yourself to a nightmare-filled night less than five feet from your recuperacoon.


End file.
